Only Fools...

'I'm not freaking Taylor Swift' - Chapter Thirty Two

I supressed these anxious thoughts as I climbed up the steps of the stage and wondered around to the back, looking for Matthew so that I'd know what I was supposed to be doing. I hadn't spoken to him since our rather explosive meeting but I'd been so busy stressing about Amy coming, and my performance, that I hadn't had the time to properly sort things out with him. I mean - . Okay being honest, if I'd tried to sort things out I'm sure I could've found the time, but it was super awkward. What if he really did like me like Rachel said, that would be such a nightmare. I'd feel so weird every time I saw him, and having to turn him down – eugh the discomfort didn't even bare thinking about. And I just knew that Danny would get all weird about it. Danny didn't like the guy anyway, how was he going to feel if Matthew professed feelings for his girlfriend. I knew I was getting ahead of myself, I didn't even know how Matthew felt yet, if he even felt anything.

After searching for a couple of minutes I finally found Matthew with a handful of microphones standing by the sound desk. He turned around to greet me after I coughed to get his attention. 'Oh Jess, hiya,' he smiled at me. It seemed that he wasn't feeling as awkward as I was about seeing him for the first time since running out on our meeting.

'Hey,' I replied, tapping my hands against my thighs in agitation. 'What do I need to do? Is there like an order or anything?'

'Yeah there's a list of the running order over there,' He pointed at a sheet of paper blue-tacked to the wall behind me. I had a quick skim over it before turning back to Matthew. 'Wait I'm last?'

He stopped looking at the monitor to turn to me again, 'yeah, is that okay?'

I thought about it. 'I mean, I'm not that good am I? To you know to like end the thing.'

'Jess you heard the auditions, most of them were pretty crap. You were the best by a million miles.' Was he serious? He was so sweet. 'Besides it's only the Winter Fair, don't stress out. It's not like your headlining Glasto.'

He had a point. 'Yeah I guess you're right. So what do I do now?'

'Erm just hold tight for a bit so we can do sound check on you. If you want to like tune your guitar or warm up your voice or whatever then go for it.' It suddenly sounded like he was trying to get rid of me. I wasn't used to this from Matthew, usually our conversation flowed completely normally. I guess our fight did affect him more than I thought. Crap. Thoughts of guilt began entering into my subconscious. I felt like I should apologise. But not yet. No, I had to deal with this whole Amy thing first. Once Amy and Zac had gone home that's when I would apologise. At least that's what I told myself.

I went and sat down on a spare chair at the side of the room and began tuning my guitar, waiting for someone to call me to sound check. I'd been sitting there a few minutes when I saw the last person I wanted to.

As Felicity moved into the room, her perfect freaking ponytail bobbed, as usual, I looked around, trying to see if there was someone else I could talk to so that we wouldn't have to converse. Alas, I was too late. 'Oh hi Jessie, you okay?' She smarmed.

'Yeah I'm great thanks,' I replied. 'You alright?'

'Brilliant yeah, I'm absolutely brilliant.' Her voice grated me so much. She didn't even pronounce 'yeah' properly. She said it as if it rhymed with car or jar. It was so gross. 'I saw that your closing the fair, that's a shame.'

'What?' I asked. Almost interested at this point as to how she would manage to windle this around to make me feel like crap.

'No it's just obviously everyone's going to be so tired by the time you come on. I bet most people won't even be there anymore. I mean, most of them are just going to be waiting for the raffle, you get me?' And there it was.

'Yeah it's a shame,' I agreed. 'I'm sure people will be so tired. I know I was absolutely exhausted after listening to your audition, I imagine the full set will just really drain me.'

'You're not better than me you know?' She snapped suddenly. 'I'm just as good a singer as you, I'm just as pretty as you. So you can get off your stupid high horse, Jessica.' Me? On a high horse? Jesus Christ, I'd never met a blacker pot in all my life.

'Danny doesn't seem to think so.' I retorted.

'Oh really? We'll see about that.' She said as she walked away, presumably to her minions standing outside, ready to fawn all over her.

We'll see about that? What the hell was she planning? I started to worry until I remembered that she was just being a bitch. Danny wanted me to be his girlfriend. He didn't want Felicity. He had never shown any interest in Felicity, of that I was certain. So whatever Felicity was planning – it wasn't going to work. At least I hoped not.

/ / / / / / / //  / / / / /

Hmm, I wonder how that's going to go!??

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There's only a couple more chapters left and I am working on them now so I want to have them up as soon as possible. HOPEFULLY by the end of next week the book will be finished and I'll make a start on posting the next one. Eeeek how exciting!!! :D

LOVE YOU ALL,

~LunaCresta x x x