This will be my short, last chapter of Mental as I couldn't figure out any more to write. I thought about doing the guys POV but I just don't see that happening.
Thank you for all of your support with this!
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Wearing long sleeves wasn't a big deal when you're in the arena. Then season ended and everyone wanted to go somewhere tropical before parting ways until September. I really didn't want to, as being in a bikini would reveal my biggest secret.
John knew about the scars, as did one of my friends I made from the team. It's just not something that I wanted people to know about. I'm 23 and still self harming. It had a big enough stigma in high school, but it's even worse now that I'm out of college.
I could go on and on about why I still do it, even now that my life is better than it had been in the past. It still made me feel better. Whenever I got in a fight with someone, or if I was nervous about anything, or if I just needed to get that weight off of my chest, that razor was there for me.
"Just say I had a family emergency and had to go back to Canada before you did."
"I'm not lying to our friends about you not wanting to go to Turkes and Caicos with them."
"I want to go, John. I just don't want my scars to be out in the open." It seemed like it was the same fight every time. I felt bad, trying to get out of time with friends. It made me feel even worse than I had already been feeling. I just wasn't ready for more people to know.
"If they say anything, we'll spend the entire trip in our room with room service and a bottle of wine." He pulled me towards him, pressing his forehead to mine. "You're beautiful with or without scars."
"Yeah, okay John." I laughed, pushing him away. After a little more debating, we decided to book the trip and well, I sucked it up and wore a bikini.
People stared at my scar filled legs and forearms. I was prepared for that. What I wasn't prepared for was the support I got from the other women I was there with. Or from the guys either.
