Gale's Window

Chapter 4: Waiting

I hardly saw Katniss the day after our visit to District 8. My new job with Beetee in the Weapons Development Department kept me busy. When I saw her that night, she was distant and withdrawn. She sat next to Finnick and shared her food and comments with her fellow victor.

After dinner, I walked her over to her compartment and, even though she didn't say anything specific, I could tell that something was gnawing at her.

By the time we finished our breakfast the next morning, we were both angry and hurt. I was sure she had seen Peeta's interview and she'd kept quiet about it.

The thought troubled me. I knew she trusted Peeta implicitly, but the fact that she'd chosen to keep me in the dark meant she wasn't confiding in me anymore. I knew we'd had our differences in the past, but I had foolishly believed that the last weeks together in 13 had put that behind us. Apparently, I had been wrong.

I tried to act like everything was all right, but Peeta's words still hung heavily between us. So, when she confronted me after breakfast, I snapped at her. She accused me of taking President Coin's side over hers; the resentment I saw in her eyes when she did, surprised me.

My beeping communicuff cut our conversation short and I angrily walked away.

I didn't have much time to sulk, though. We were scheduled to film a new propo in District 12 and there was no getting out of it.

The visit to my destroyed district was terribly painful. The memories of what had once been my home collided with the ruins that surrounded us.

Cressida made us walk through the rubble and the corpses while she filmed us. The flicker of anger that crossed her eyes when I showed her the traces of Thread's lashes on my back made me wonder about the reasons she'd had for leaving the Capitol and turning to the rebel side.

By the time we reached the clearing in the woods, I was exhausted. Reliving the bombings hadn't been easy. The thin layer of ash that clung to my skin suffocated me.

Being back in my woods comforted me. In spite of all the changes and destruction that surrounded us, the forest remained the same.

We were lying in the sun, enjoying the fresh air and the scent of pine needles and freshly dampened earth when Katniss began singing.

The song's mournful melody brought tears to my eyes. I remembered my dad singing it when I was little, but my dad's raspy voice was nothing like Katniss's.

I looked around and realized everyone had fallen silent. For a moment, it felt like even the animals in the woods were standing still, and the birds had stopped their song to listen.

I had never heard her sing before and, as the song came to an end and the mockingjays picked up the tune, I remembered Peeta's story. He claimed he'd fallen in love with Katniss after hearing her sing. I remember smirking at the time, thinking he was lying. How wrong had I been! Once again, the baker's son had proven to know more about Katniss than I did.

After our short break in the woods, we headed back to Victor's Village.

While Katniss rummaged through the kitchen's cabinets, looking for herbs or medications that might be useful in District 13, I walked around her house. Except for my recovery period, I had never spent that much time in that place. During her first months as victor she'd never invited me and, after spending those days recovering there, I had always felt like an intruder, so I'd avoided the big, ostentatious house as much as possible.

I walked into the kitchen, the memory of the kiss we'd shared there once weighed heavily on my chest. The words she'd said before kissing me still haunted me. It had taken some time to understand and accept that she'd kissed me because she'd been worried about me and she'd wanted to make me feel better. I knew she loved me, but I was beginning to accept that she wasn't in love with me. And, any lingering doubts I might have still had, had been definitely put to rest by the kisses she'd shared with Mellark on that beach.