Chapter 07: Damsel in Distress

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AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is the updated 2022 version of Chapter 07. If you are re-reading this part, you may observe some changes from the previous version.

CONTENT AND TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter contains depictions of kidnapping and references to trauma that may be upsetting for some readers. Please be mindful of these sensitive themes and other possible triggers. Remember to practice self-care before, during and after reading.

 Remember to practice self-care before, during and after reading

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LORELEI

FOR THE next few days, hindi kami nagpansinan ni Loki. Bumalik kami sa status namin noong first week ko rito sa apartment. We existed in the same place, but at the same time, we did not. Umasta siya na parang isa akong invisible entity na pakalat-kalat sa unit. Ni minsa'y hindi siya nagbato ng tingin sa akin. Willing akong mag-sorry at makipag-reconcile sa kanya, kaso ayaw niya akong bigyan ng chance.

Kung ayaw niyang makipag-usap, e 'di huwag. Hindi ko ipagpipilitan ang sarili ko sa isang tao o sitwasyon na ayaw akong tanggapin. I could exist without him, the same way he could exist without me.

At the very least, there was a consolation for our fall out. May nalaman akong ilang personal detail tungkol sa kanya. After how many weeks of knowing almost nothing about him—except for his name, his affiliation with the club, his crooked tricks and twisted views in life—I got an exclusive scoop on Loki. But it came with a price. Was it worth it? I could not say yet.

Was it okay for me to say that we were even now? Noong secret admirer case, nabuksan niya ang vault ng unwanted memories sa isip ko. Halos bangungutin pa nga ako. Ngayon, ako naman ang nagbukas sa vault ng tragic memory niya. Mine was totally unintentional. Kung alam kong gano'n ang magiging reaksyon niya, hindi ko na sana ginawa.

"Loki considers Rhiannon, or Rhea, as his only friend. Unfortunately, she died because she went too close to him. He's a magnet of tragedies. If I were you, I would keep my distance," Margarette told me back in the girl's comfort room the other day. "Singing that Twinkle, Twinkle Star song will compel him to spill the beans. Just be prepared to see his reaction."

Behind the stoic facade he was used to wearing, I saw a fragility in his seemingly wicked character. Instead na magalit ako sa outburst niya, parang naawa pa ako sa kanya. Mas naintindihan ko na kung bakit wala siyang itinuturing na kaibigan mula nang mawala si Rhea. Ayaw niyang maging vulnerable ulit kaya itinutulak niya ang mga tao palayo sa kanya. Kung wala siyang kaibigan, walang magagamit ang sinuman laban sa kanya.

'Yon na siguro ang sinasabi niyang cost of friendship para sa kanya. Being his friend became synonymous to being in danger. He was—in Margarette's own words—a magnet of tragedies. That's why he chose to repel anyone who might get too close to him.

To think that he was just a teenager, it must have been heartbreaking for him to think that he deserved to be alone.

Hay. Nakonsensya tuloy ako. Ayaw ko nang dagdagan pa ang kanyang pinagdaraanan. Oo, may atraso siya sa akin at justified kung magmamatigas ako. Pero willing akong i-let go 'yon at makipagbati para mabawasan ang pain na nararamdaman niya.

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