Remembering Smiles

Chapter 17 -

"We'll continue this later." Allen said, calmly.

As much as I was against it, I knew there was no way out of talking to him. However, what I have to say is different from what he wants to hear. A few minutes later we pulled into the pick-up area of the middle school as Raina skipped away from her friends to join Triston in the back seat. Most of the car ride was silent except for Raina's low hum to her IPod. I almost felt frozen in my seat as we pulled up to my house. My mom, as usual, wasn't home and I was slightly happy she wouldn't be here in case of a fight. Triston and Raina jumped out of the car, maybe anxious to get out of the strange and tense atmosphere. They knew something was wrong, but wouldn't ask questions.

"Explain." Was all Allen said. His voice was almost harsh which caused my heart to drop a little, but my anger was enough to ignore it.

"Explain what Allen? Why don't you explain." I stated, hoping that he would finally admit why he had put up with me for so long. I wanted to hear it, loud and clear, that he didn't want this. I wanted the truth.

"What the hell are you talking about?" He stammered. Allen was a good actor, but not good enough.

"Don't fuck with me Allen. I know your game, but I don't know why you're playing it." I yelled, tears almost coming out. Couldn't he just admit that he'd fallen out of love with me? I ignored that feeling for so long, but I knew he wouldn't love me. I was a burden now, things weren't like they used to be.

"Layla, what game? You were gone today and came into class with red and swollen eyes. I knew you were crying, but I want to know why!" He screeched. That was it, he was close to his breaking point.

"Why do you want to know so badly Allen?" I cried, hoping he would admit he didn't.

"Layla," He called, almost in disbelief. He eyes were becoming swollen, and he could barely speak. "because I love you."

That was all a lie. Why couldn't he just give up? I didn't deserve his love, and he didn't deserve this burden. It was enough.

"Bullshit Allen. You loved the old me, the Layla before the accident, not this Layla." I started, tears streaming down my face. I wasn't sure why I was crying though. Was it from anger? Frustration? Or the fact that this was when he would finally admit he didn't love me. I wanted to stop yelling, but now I couldn't stop.

"I've been nothing but a burden, and I know you've had enough. Everyone has had enough, but why do you keep pretending? Just get it over with Allen! Say you fucking hate me, throw me out of your car, do something." I finished.

I was shaking and crying. A whirlwind of emotions came at me and I couldn't sort them out. Nothing was coming together right now and I felt so lost. Through my burred eyes I could see Allen staring at me with a complete blank face. It almost looked like I had slapped him with just words. I guess that's what happens to someone who has faced the truth. It became painful to look at him so I looked down at my shoes. I wanted to leave, but I needed to hear that he was done with me. 

After what felt like fifteen minutes, his facial expression seemed to thaw out of its blank state and turn into what looked like sheer pain. As much as I wanted to hear him say those words, I realized how much I needed to just leave. I fumbled with my seat belt as started to open the car door when I felt a hard grip on my elbow pull me back inside. Allen turned me so I was I was a few inches away from his face and he closed the door. My heart fluttered as he leaned over me, but I refused to keep feeling this way.

"Is that what you really think?" Allen barely whispered. His eyes looked drained and hurt. This is what I had done to him.

I nodded my head and closed my eyes as tears poured out. I started to shake even more and my head was pounding as one of my severe headaches returned. I couldn't take being in here anymore, especially with Allen just inches away from me. That was it, I needed to leave.

I gently pushed Allen back which was almost easy since he was so stunned. I didn't exactly know what  he meant by his last line, but I was pretty sure we were done with our conversation. I slowly opened the door and Allen didn't even try to stop me. He was probably done with me.

When I got out, the fresh air hit me hard and my legs were weak and ready to give in; just like the rest of me. I was completely drained, emotionally and physically. I couldn't take in what had just happened. In response, I fell back a little but managed to catch myself on the car door. My legs had somehow managed to regain some life and I slowly closed the door.

I started to take a step forward as the window quickly rolled down. His leaned across the seat and tried to put his head out the window as I walked away.

"Layla wait!" He called, but I kept walking. "Please!" He desperately yelled.

As much as I tried to stay strong, I had to turn around and see him one last time for today.

"Allen, it's okay. Please, don't come back, you deserve better." I said across the driveway.

He opened the driver's door and took a step out but stopped. I slowly turned the other way, but not soon enough to see something shiny roll down his cheek. 

Was he crying?

No, that was just my imagination. Allen didn't love me anymore. He couldn't possibly be crying over me. 

I opened the front door to see Triston and Raina, wide-eyed, sitting on the stairs staring at me. Well, I guess we were a little loud. Guilt swept over me and I blushed as I ran up the stairs and into my room. With out thinking, I slumped into my bed and hugged a nearby pillow and cried into it.

I had a horrible pain inside me, overtaking every part of my body. My stomach hurt from crying, my lungs hurt from all of my sharp breaths, and my throat hurt from screaming. However, it was my heart that hurt most and no amount of Advil was going to help that. Realization hit me; hard. It felt like a wound that would never heal.

It hurt more and more by the minute and more and more tears streamed down my face. A scream escaped my soar throat as it hit me;

It was over. He was no longer mine. 

Layla and Allen were...over.

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So, what ddid you think?(: I'm not to good at fighting scenes>.< so ihope I pulled it off!!! 

Vote/ comment/ fan??? Whateevr you want!!♥ Thanks to EVERYONE who is reading!!! So, yes yu!! That amazingly awesome person behind the screen!! Have some skittles(: