On My Way Home (Jonia)

12

Dear diary,

I'm still so confused. I'm still not really sure about how I'm gonna find my mom. You have no idea how nervous I am. How am I gonna escape from the hotel? How am I gonna find the exact house? What if she forgot me? What if she's moved? What if she isn't even alive? I can't stop thinking of the horrible things that can happen during this trip.

But what I really wanna talk about is Bruce. He's acting different. I mean, he's my brother. Well, step brother, but I really hope there's nothing he's hiding from me. Normally, he would tell me everything on his mind and I would do the same, but lately, I'm not quite sure whether he trusts me or not. I'm starting to think he...-no. He can't. Anyways, I'll write late-

"Hailee?" I slammed the book closed and threw my pen over the bed. "Yeah?" "What's that you got in your hand?" he asked. "Just a book." I lied. "Just a book?" he raised his left eyebrow. "Yup. We have to read it for Eng lit." I added. "We're in the same grade. The merchant of Venice doesn't look like that." He said.

"It's just some extra books she wants us to read." I said. "You sure it's something you don't want me to know about?" He asked. "I should ask you the same." I snapped. Shit. I should not have said that. "Um...no?" he replied. "Haiz, seriously. What's in the book?" "Stop being so nosy! Everything you need to know, you know already so just shut up!" I snapped. "Sorry." He muttered, returning to the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. 

It was ten past two. Everyone was asleep and I had a chance to escape. I grabbed the letter, my coat, my wallet and my phone and left.

As I was walking along the quiet streets, I heard light footsteps behind me, getting louder, and louder by the second. I saw a dark figure against the dull streetlights, enlarging as it rapidly came towards me. 

It wasn't too much larger than me, but as it got closer, I began to make out who the owner of this familiar figure was.

Bruce.

His glasses were slipping off the tip of his nose, sweat dripping down his forehead despite the cold. His heavy pants came out of his mouth as white smoke, as he stopped in front of me with a mixed expression of sorrow, guilt, confusion, fatigue and anger. 

"What?" I said. "I thought we were in this together. Why'd you have to leave alone? You didn't even tell me you were leaving." He said in between heavy breaths. "No, Bruce. I don't wanna get you involved in my family situation. You might get in trouble." I said. "Hailee, what happened to us? We've become so distant. This isn't how we planned it." he said. "Sometimes, Bruce, things aren't supposed to be as they were planned." 

"That's not how the saying goes Hailee. Once we adopted you, we made a promise, remember? To stick together. I'm gonna keep that promise." He said. 

"What is wrong with us?" I sighed. "I...I-I don't know." He replied. "Maybe it's just that you're too clingy and won't get out of my face! But at the same time, you're hiding stuff from me! I don't even know if you trust me or not!" I walked away. 

"Hailee!" he grabbed my arm. I tried to get his grip to loosen, punch his hand, pinch it, tug on his fingers, but he was too strong.

I then realised, do I really want that badly for him to leave me to do this alone? I mean, I could use the extra help, but what if he's gonna act all awkward, keeping is little secret from me? I don't even know if he's keeping a secret. Since when were we even awkward with each other? There was gonna be a lot of struggles with getting along, but he's gonna have to spit it out sooner or later.

Anyways, Bruce's right about the promise. We did make that promise. I have to trust him.