27 Minutes (Larry Stylinson)

Prologue

Time.

That's all it was in the beginning: Time.

Seconds, minutes, hours pressed together to create a mask in which could never be dropped. To create a wall of steel which could never be broken. To create an image which could never be distorted.

It was wrong, it wasn't right. No matter what his heart told him, it was incorrect. Every little flutter and beat skipped meant nothing. He is nothing. They are nothing.

Its been said that the most broken person can hide behind a perfected smile. Laughs and jokes can carry out a personality that never really existed.

Laughter and smiles full of lies to hide the most damaged person who wants only to tell the truth. Only wants to break free of every chain thats holding him down.

But the chains keep squeezing tighter, never loosening their grip. Choking from the inside out and wrapping him with every deceitful thing in his life. Clouding his vision and mind with deadly thoughts. Gripping and pulling at his heart.

Until everything stops.

Until he stops fighting.

Until he gives up.

And nothing can make him turn back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Monday July 15th, 2013 7:03 pm

That was it.

The final straw that made me snap. The last thing I knew I could stand to see. The last little push I needed to make me break. It was done.

I could feel it eating away at me, clawing and gripping onto every fiber of my being. Searching for something to reach out and hold on to and never let go. What was it? Guilt. Shame. Longing. Love.

Stupid Love.

Why couldn't I just forget? Everyone else did. Why couldn't I just move on? Everyone else did! I was the only one still holding on to something that would never happen. And why? Because it was wrong. Wrong in their eyes. Disgusting, vile, repulsive.

But to me? It was so so beautiful.

He was so beautiful, and we could be even better.

But he forgot just like they did. He moved on but I never did.

I stayed behind lurking in the shadows of a past that would never become my future. Plans long forgotten and thrown into the dust.

I didn't forget Harry, and I promise I never will.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Slowly I walk up to my dark flat, knowing I'll be alone with the peace that I so desperatley crave.

I couldn't bare to look anyone in the eyes now, in fear they might see. See into my thoughts and what I'm planing. No, they'd try to stop me.

With shaky hands I withdraw my key from my pocket and open my door. Everything looks the same as I remember but as I flick on the lights I take in every detail. Pressing it into my memories along with everything else that happened here.

A faint smile makes its way to my lips as I walk through the entry way remembering all the wrestling matches. All the vases broken and scoldings we got for being too reckless. Its a wonder we never had any serious damage to ourselves from it all. But it never stopped us from trying.

The living room has always been my favorite place. Full of memories with movie nights, popcorn fights and sleepovers. Its also a place where secrets were shared but even those secrets weren't our darkest ones. At least mine weren't.

I shuffle over to the shelves lining the wall with pictures on them. Snap shots from my childhood then to the best day of my life. Our band.

The moment we got placed together was single handedly the best moment of my life. Upon hearing the words my arms were instantly wrapped around that messy headed boy. That moment changed both our lives in more ways than one.

Shifting my eyes to the next few pictures were of all the monumental moments of our career. Winning our first Brit Award, to the MTV awards and our first concert at Madison Square Garden. All of those moments earning a smile from me but only a small one because of the conversations that run with them.

I shake my head free of those thoughts and make my way upstairs, ignoring the rest of the house. Keeping my eyes down, I quickly make it to my room and search for a small bag. Opening it I place a few articles of clothing in it before moving on to everything else I actually needed.

My journal, or diary I guess. Written in everyday since the day I auditioned for the X Factor. A photo album of every photo I felt held a special meaning or a time in my life. And lastly, my laptop, all stuffed into the bag.

Standing up a little taller and taking one last look at the room makes me sigh and close my eyes. Even more memories flooding back of laughter, soft kisses echanged and love. So much love.

"It's for the best." I whispered to myself before grabbing the bag and heading back downstairs. Turning the knob on the door and letting my eyes sweep over the flat one last time. Trying my best to place that guard over my heart to keep it from changing my mind. Placing that mask over my feelings just like they told me too. To become who I knew I wasn't.

"Goodbye Harry."

And with that I left, knowing I'd never be back.