Bullied (an o2l fanfiction)

Chp. 18/ If I Go

Recap:
Before drifting off completely, I felt a pair of lips connect with my forehead. I slightly opened my eyes and saw-
Present;
A black figure in a ski mask. I sat up abruptly and looked around, panicking. I saw no one. Not a single person. The tv was off so they only thing you could here was my inhales and exhales. I fell back asleep, believing that it was just dream anyway so no need to worry.

*4hours later*
I woke up to flashing blue and red lights, people in blue uniforms with guns, stretchers, and a bloody body bag. My vision was all blurry, and discombobulated. I saw Kian, Connor, Ricky, JC, and Trevor crying and screaming at the body bag. Sam was no where to be seen and no one noticed I was up. "Guys whats going on? What happened and where is Sam?!" I yelled over all the commotion, getting up and walking towards them. No one even shot me a look or a glance. No one said anything to me. Not a single peep came from anyones damn mouth. I walked over to the bloody body bag and lifted up the corner near the head. I gasped and fell backwards. I covered my mouth and felt tears stinging my eyes, threatening to spill. I stood up and breathed in and out, in and out. I looked again and saw blood all over MY body. My face covered, bruises all over my it, my body, and my clothes are all ripped and tattered. A big wound on my left hip and right inner thigh. "KIAN, RICKY, TREVOR, JC, CONNOR WHAT IS GOING ON SOMEONE ANSWER ME GOD DAMMIT!!", I screamed, the tears full on flowing like a river now. I felt nautious and dizzy. What is going on? I looked over at Kian and the boys. I saw Kians face, red and puffy, tears trickling down his cheeks. I ran over and hugged him, even though I knew he wouldn't feel it. I put my head in the crook of his neck and cried along with him. I could feel his heartbeat as I hugged him. He reached in his pocket and pulled out a note. He opened it and began to ball again. He dropped it on the ground, it still being open. It read:
Carla,
I just wanted you to know that I forgive you. I know it was an accident, and it's okay. I am so fucking sorry for all the years I hurt you. I made probably the biggest mistake of my life by doing that. I love you Carla. I love you so much it hurts. My life sucks without you. I love the moments when I'm with you and treasure them, because life is short and you never know what could happen. You are one of the best things that has happened to me in a long ass time. Well besides Andr- thats not important. I'm sorry. You are beautiful, amazing, and everything perfect in this shitty world. If anything were to happen to you, I would not know what to do with myself. I wouldn't trade you for the world. Carla... the purpose of this letter is to tell you that I love you. So since I'm too much of a coward to ask you in person, will you be my girlfriend? I love you so much Carla. Please, just.... consider it.
~Kiki
I began to cry without even knowing it. I wiped the tears that hadn't already fell on the paper off my face. I would have said yes. A million times. Why? Why me? What happened? I mean I love the book "If I Stay", but I don't wanna live the goddamn thing.
I just.... don't get it.