Chapter 1 Kate sneaks out

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Sneaking out should be second nature for me- I have been doing it for the last four years. Every day Feels like a reminder that my previous, happy life is over. Almost as if it never really existed, like I have always been trapped in this shitty situation, but I know what it feels like to be loved and I remember being happy once. That is why my foster father, Michael, and his deranged son, Jack, will never be able to break me. My memories of my old life are like my lifeline. They help me dream of a better future. They give me hope that I will one day find happiness again, that I will be safe. That hope is also the reason that I sneak out every night. If I want to escape from my prison I will need a scholarship to college and to get one of those I need to practice. I was the first freshman to ever make the varsity soccer team, but that does not mean anything if I do not get a scout to notice me soon. My best friend, Leah, is also on the team and the only person I trust. She picks me up every night at the bus stop and trains with me. This is the first year that we can be scouted and I know she would have trained every night, with or without me. I still feel guilty for always bumming a ride with her. Finally the TV downstairs starts blaring the nightly news tune, my cue to make my escape for the night. Michael might be an alcoholic but he is also a creature of habit and follows a very strict schedule every night. He always watches the 8 o'clock news in the living room and then stays in his old chair until he passes out from all the beer. Which means I will not be needed for the rest of the night. My hands are shaking so badly that I can not get my shoelaces tied. I will just leave them untied for now, I do not want Leah to worry if I show up late. She knows about Michael, she walked in on me in the locker room when we were 14 and saw my bruised ribs. I was late for practice one day and thought I was alone in the locker room but she walked in on me pulling my shirt over my head and saw the bruises. Somehow I convinced her to keep my secret by telling her that if she reported it, I would be send to a different foster home that might be even worse than my current situation and that I might be placed far away and have to change schools. I also said I would deny anything she reported and never speak to her again. After the longest fight in the history of our friendship (one week) she agreed to keep my secret, if I tell her about every single incident within 12 hours of it happening. It is more challenging than one might think considering I do not own a cell phone, Michael does not allow it. Still, for the last 2 years she has been my constant and I have told her about every incident, well every incident involving Michael. I do not think she will be willing to keep my secret if she knew about Jack. He is worse than his father. I slide the window open and as quietly as possible, I climb through and onto the tree. Suddenly I hear shouting and freeze mid-climb. My hands are still shaking but now I feel like I might be sick. When they finally quiet down I resume climbing down the tree with my bag over my shoulder. As my feet touch the ground my heart starts to calm. I am almost free. I soon as I see the bright red Mini Cooper waiting for me, my breathing also returns to normal. For the next two hours it will be just me and Leah doing what we love, away from them. For the next two hours I will be safe. I can see her head moving to the rhythm of the music blasting from her speakers and a small smile escapes from my lips. This is why I keep going.

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