The Life Of A Stripper

chapter 3- Drunken Thoughts

" I not gone say it again " Shawn said I reluctantly got in , and Chris came out the club and made me get in the back

I was pissed he should have drove his own car , I'm grown as fuck sitting in the back seat

When I looked up we was out side me , and my moms house

" What I tell you about drinking , you not even old enough to drink you never even been drunk before " He started yelling

" Go the fuck home " I said irritated cause I felt like my insides were turning and I couldn't stand straight

Chris had gotten out the car to assist me and as soon Shawn was opening the door for me I vomited everything in me

My stomach was hurting my shoes had vomit in them I was disgusted with myself

" You need to eat " Shawn said you could tell he was still mad

" Go the fuck home already " I said

He looked at me shocked cause I never in my life had talkin' to him like that , but I was pissed

" Watch yo fuckin' mouth " Shawn said coming towards me.

" Imma take her to her room " Chris said

We were walking to my room when I mumbled " I still remember "

" What you talking about " He said

" Don't fuckin do that to me " I shouted

" Lower your voice " Chris said

" As much as I act like I'm okay I'm not " I said

" Just be quiet " Chris said now I was heated

" Bitch you fuckin' made me insecure , it may have not seemed like much to you but I was a fourteen year old virgin " I shouted now pissed

" It was nothing serious " he said brushing it off

" Bitch you fingering me at my most vulnerable moment was nothing serious ? Why do you treat me like shit when I helped you every step off the way when your mother left you ! When your father died you cried on my shoulder for two days bitch I was there for you when you moved in with your aunty and your uncle molested you day after day you confided in me I listened to you cry when Shawn and your aunt was to busy for you I was all ways fuckin there and you treat me like shit " I shouted and tears were now streaming down my face . I was hurting really bad.

" No , as much as you were there for me I was there for you too . When you caught your daddy cheating and was scared to tell Shawn I listened to you cry about it . I lied for you every time you stayed out and did dumb stuff with stupid bitch Jayla I listened to YOU cry when Messiah spreaded that rumor about you I fought Malik when he back handed you I held your hand every step of the way when your daddy left and Shawn shut you out I was fuckin there for you too " Chris shouted angry as hell by now I was bawling tears

" What the fuck going on in here " Shawn said we he seen me crying my eyes out and Chris looking angry

I was crying for all the years I couldn't all the times I wanted my daddy and he wasn't there the times I needed Shawn bit he shut me out I just cried

Shawn came over and rubbed my back " Get out " I said exhausted my head pounding my stomach was still turning

I ran to the bathroom and threw up everything but my memories and I wish they could go too.

" Get the fuck out " I shouted throwing everything of my dresser breaking pictures

When I looked up I looked up into my full body mirror that was directly in front of me an hated what I seen

I seen my tear stained face my nose was red an puffy my eyes were puffy as hell my hair was a mess my dress had vomit stains. I hated myself .

I stared at my reflection then a wave off anger took over me and I smashed the mirror with my hands I looked down and my hands were covered in blood

I washed my hands off , I needed to relax 

My head was spinning , and I laid down and was sleep almost instantly

****

I woke up and my head was pounding and I knew I had a hang  over

My brother came in with a bottle a water and something in his hand he handed me two pills I took them then chase them with water without looking

" You okay " he said

" Not now " I mumbled checking my phone

Kelsey - I'm training you today be ready at 4:30 address please ?

Me - Okaay Creston lane 4207

Kelsey- On the way babes

Me - okay

I looked at the clock it was 4:00 I had to get in the shower quickly so I could be ready

" You don't fuckin hear me " Shawn yelled snapping me out my day dream

" Why you ain't never at your own fuckin house " I groaned irritated as fuck

" Watch yo mouth ma want yo stupid ass " Shawn said mushing me

" Okay damn , get out now " I said pushing him out my room

I was in the shower for fifteen minutes then put on some black tights and a black long sleeve half shirt with a red and black plaid shirt tied around my waist

I walked down stairs to see my mom sitting on the couch waiting for me

I sat down across from her and Shawn was behind her

" So you wanna get drunk and act a fool " She said now I was irritated as fuck

" I'm grown so I can " I snapped

" Hold the fuck on " Shawn snapped

" No Shawn this don't have nothing to do with you . Damn SHUT THE FUCK UP " I screamed I was angry as hell

" Nah yo disrespectful ass ain't gone talk to my momma like that " He screamed back

" I got it babe " She said she always does this every since our dad left she treat Shawn better than me I hate it

" Nah Shawn I don't give a fuck if that yo momma she mine too  , and I'm disrespecting her let her say it " I said

" That's what I'm saying you not gone fuckin' disrespect her " he shouted

" Who gone stop me " I said challenging him

" I am " My momma said

" Now you got balls " I said chuckling

" This ain't like you why you acting like that " My momma said

" Same reason you acted the you did when I told you daddy cheated " I said now furious

" You went to fuckin far " Shawn said

I wanted to cry but I wasn't supposed to crying last night made me weak and I'm not I wanted Shawn on my side but I wasn't gonna cry

" You better shut yo ass up " My momma said

" Why ? Cause you wasn't woman enough to handle yo responsibility " I said trying to make her hurt cause I was hurting

She smacked the shit outta me " You won't disrespect me in my house " was the last thing I heard her say before I picked up my phone and left

" Morgan " I heard Shawn yell

I was about to turn around then Kelsey waved me over to her car I got in immediately

I laid my back on the head rest so the tears that were threatening to fall wouldn't

" You okay " Kelsey said when I didn't reply she left it alone

I felt alone.