How to Keep a Friend ~On Hold~

Chapter 5

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I flip the next entry of Christan's diary with apprehension.

A lot of what ifs...

A lot of what could be's...

A delayed entry of my diary. This was supposedly last week but heck...

First day of my freshman year.

I was quite sure that I'm going to rebel against my parents for doing this to me. To us. Until they despise me. Until they feel the same feeling that I have when I heard of their betrayal.

And so I isolated myself from my peers.

I went out right after each class and strolled around the corners of the school.

I didn't want to make friends. I just wanted to be alone.

I felt so ashamed about myself and my life that I didn't want to get associated with anyone.

On my second day in school, I found myself walking to this certain place at the back of the gym. The place seemed perfect for me. Abandoned, serene and peaceful. The kind of place I was looking for.

Whenever I wanted to be alone, far away from crowd, I would come there. Listen to my playlist, brought with me some books or simply stare at nothingness. And I would also end up thinking how mess my life then.

I never thought I'd find someone sharing the same sentiments that I have.

I would always saw this girl just few meter away from me. She seemed to have a world of her own. I ignored her presence for a week. It was very easy to avoid her for she doesn't care about her sorroundings. I even doubted if she knew that I existed. She has her earphones in her ears, a drawing book in her hand and sometimes, she would bring painting materials with her.

And I never thought it would come to the point that I'd get curious of her.

Until I heard her silent sobs while sketching. Every single day, she's there. And this was the very first time that I heard her cry. Still, unaware of my presence. She would looked at the sky as if blaming it for what she has been through. She was too transparent that every emotions on her face was so  visible.

She doesn't have the kind of beauty that would make you glance twice. No, she's not a picture of perfection.

But as you look at her very closely...

She seemed... ethereal... as if a heaven sent.

Her almond shaped eyes, so expressive, framed with thick long lashes that windowed her inner soul.

Had she smiled, the world would sigh in contentment. But then again she looked so sad... and lonesome.

So I wondered.

Is she carrying a much heavier burden than I have?

My curiousity lead to continuous observation of that girl.

I did not even notice that one day, I was already standing so close to her and even sat beside her. She had real talent, I could see that. I never thought a sketch would look so real, but hers seemed to speak to a person who's looking on it. It was a picture of a little girl with the sweetest smile. I even thought it was her. But it wasn't. It was her little sister whom she adored most.

'Till I couldn't help but to introduce myself.

I was a bit irritated when she ignored me. As if she didn't hear me spoke to her. Yet the eagerness of knowing her more was so strong that I wanted to befriend her.

After countless attempts of trying to start a conversation, she finally spoke to me. And from then on, I knew...

She's my soul friend.

 

I suddenly feel a lump in my chest.

Was that pain? I sighed.

How I wish...

Where are you Christan?