How to Keep a Friend ~On Hold~

Chapter 4

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"Take this."

With trembling hands, I carefully take the book...

I left Marlowe's office baffled with thoughts... 
 
 
 
Uncertainties and qualms surfacing... 
 
 
 
I hurry home, take a shower, all the while hoping that it will somehow give me assuagement... 
 
 
 
But as I look at the book at the study table where I place it when I arrived, I still could not stop myself from feeling too disturbed. 
 
 
 
I then take the book and perused it. 
 
 
 
I ran my fingers through its cover once more. A lot of thoughts suffuse my brain...

Ma Vie...

It's a French word that means 'My Life'.

The thought of Christan writing a diary still surprises me... but I guess I need to end this desperation of mine before my thoughts gets disheveled again from assuming what is not. 
 
 
 
I open the first page of the book...

 
 
 
 
Sole Property 
 

of 
 

Christan Montecillo... 
 
 

 
He has his signature written just below his name and the date it was first written...

The desire to write just came by. I never envisioned myself that I would ever have to make my own vent through this... 
 
 
 
But I just could not help it. 
 
 
 
I just can't... I can't...

I can feel his burden in his every word.

I don't know why.

I just feel he's carrying too much...

I never felt betrayed my whole life.

Until today.

I did not sense a certain hint that anyone would be this perfidious. This treachery had gotten me mad. I just know that this will make me too doubtful, distrustful and really, really feel too wretched.

For how long? For how long do they intend to keep this from us? From me?!
 

It's funny how one's life seems to look so perfect from the outside. How one's life seems to be that ideal in front of other people. They look up to what they believe in that you have. How too confident you are... that you have what everyone else yearned for.

Yet one day, you will find out that everything is just a sham. All that is in front of you are concealed with lies all along.  And it pains you. Too much that you wanted to stay away from the truth and just surmise that everything is just a nightmare.