I'm A Fighter (CURRENTLY BEING REWRITTEN)

Chapter 4

     I woke up to the familiar blare of my alarm clock. Last night Drake had walked me home, after making sure I was alright. He is so sweet. I think I'm starting to...like him? It went against everything I'd taught myself, and yet...those gorgeous eyes captivated me. I cancelled my fights yesterday. Given what happened, I just couldn't focus.
I dragged myself out of bed. After my workout and daily routine, I was ready for another day of torture- whoopsies, I meant school. I blasted my music in my ears, trudging slowly to school. I could only imagine what the kids would say now. Sigh. For lack of better words, this was going to suck. I slowly walked through the front doors, trying hard not to be noticed. It worked. Kind of. Well, not really. Only a couple kids pushed me. Like I said, kind of worked.
I finally got to my locker, only to see someone had covered it with pictures of Nicholas. I tore them down in a blind rage, trying desperately to keep my tears in.
'Keep calm, keep calm.' I threw my stuff in my locker, grabbing my books before heading to my first class. All through the first two periods people kept throwing things at me. Paper, pencils, erasers, you name it. The teacher pretended she didn't see, but I knew better.
As soon as the bell rang I jumped up, running to my locker. I quickly grabbed some money and rushed to the cafeteria. I had to get in and out before anyone noticed me. I just wanted to get outside and relax alone with my thoughts.
I grabbed my vitamin water before heading outside, unnoticed. I sat on my usual bench, blasting music in my ears. Suddenly I overheard an argument in the alley near the school. Not again. I rushed over there, my eyes meeting none other than Brian. And Drake. Uh-oh.
"I saw you run after that emo freak yesterday. A freak like her doesn't deserve anyone. Not even a weak, pale, pathetic low-life like you. Can't have you guys banding together can we?" Brian taunted
"Take it back," Drake said quietly.
"I'll say whatever I want about that weak little b***h," He replied, laughing.
Suddenly Drake rushed at Brian. Taking him by surprise he got a couple punches in before Brian threw him violently into the wall with a sickening crack. He stalked towards Drake menacingly.
I ran in between him and Drake. I knew I was screwing myself over, but at that point I didn't care.
'No one will hurt him. Not while I'm here'
I pushed Brian back, hard. He scowled at me. He tried to go past me but I pushed him back even harder and he fell to the ground. I turned around, helping Drake up, before throwing one last warning glare at Brian, and helping Drake back to school. We decided to ditch the last half of the day, given the circumstances. We were currently sitting on my bed, listening to Sleeping With Sirens. It turns out that we liked all the same bands. We talked and joked around. I found out that he was actually really sweet and funny. An hour later, and I was doubled up on the floor, holding my stomach because I was laughing so hard, as Drake recounted the time he tried to ride a duck at four years old. I hadn't laughed this hard since before Nicholas died. By the time we actually looked at a clock, it was near midnight. He bit his lip, looking sad, and admittedly reluctant, to go. I dreaded his leaving too. I didn't know why but...there was just something about this boy that I liked. That I really liked. Even though I told myself not to, I couldn't help getting close to him. But I let him go. He probably didn't want to stay anyways right? I gave him a hug at the door.
"I had a lot of fun," I told him.
"Me too," he replied.
He smiled at me, and waved as he walked down the street. I smiled and went upstairs to get some sleep.
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"Ahhhhhh!!!" I bolted upright in bed, screaming and sobbing, drenched in sweat. The wretched claws of panic were wrapped around my throat in a death-grip.
'Oh god. I haven't had this in a while. Panic attack. No no no no no.'
I fumbled for my phone with shaky fingers. I
dialed his already-familiar number at lightning speed. I didn't know why, but I just knew he was who I needed. The phone rang. And rang. And rang. I was starting to panic even more, terrified he wouldn't answer, when suddenly I heard Drake's voice. He sounded groggy and exhausted.
"Hello?"
I had lost most ability to speak. This was the worst one in years. I spoke almost inaudibly.
"H-hel-help m-me-me..." His voice suddenly went into high alert.
"What's wrong? Are you okay?"
I barely managed to reply to him. My breathing was getting faster and I felt like my heart would pound right out of my chest any moment, and I would be left bleeding on the floor.
"P-pan-panic a-attack.." I was hyperventilating at this point, barely keeping it together, when he said those three blessed words:
"On my way."
I had never had someone travel across town as fast as he did. He sprinted, fast as lightning almost. It must only have been seven minutes that passed, though it still felt like a lifetime. He didn't knock, he just ran in, finding his way into the bedroom he'd come to know well earlier that same evening. The sight he found was likely a shocking one for him. I was curled up into a ball in my bed, the soft blankets kicked away in a panic, hyperventilating and sobbing so hard that my throat was hoarse.
He ran over to me, immediately wrapping his arms around my trembling body as though it were second nature. I melted into his embrace, throwing myself farther into his arms. He whispered reassurances into my ear.
"Shhhhh. I'm right here, you're okay, nothing is gonna hurt you. I'm here for you. Im not going anywhere. I'm here."
After about ten minutes I could finally breathe normally again, though tears remained a constant stream down my cheeks. He looked at me, sensing I was ready to talk.
"What happened?" He asked softly. I took a deep breathe to ground myself.
"I had a nightmare. But it was...so much worse than normal. It was Nicholas and I, back at the bank. I tried to force myself not to pull the alarm, but I-I couldn't help it and the robber shot him!"
"It's okay. I know it's bad" he reassured me. I sobbed out loud.
"That's not the worst part!" I exclaimed, feeling panic rise once again. He caressed my hair, silently inviting me to go on. I took a few deep breaths. "W-when I looked up at Nicholas, he was gone, and i-i-it was you with the gunshot in your stomach and you fell to the ground and I tried so hard to stop the bleeding but the blood just kept pouring and the ambulance just wouldn't come no matter how long I waited and prayed and there-there was nothing I could do and the light just faded from your eyes and I-I-" I started sobbing again, uncontrollably. I couldn't breathe anymore. Before it could rise into a panic attack, he spoke. He seemed amazed.
"Hey hey hey sweetheart, breathe. Look, there's nothing here. Feel my stomach. I'm okay. I promise you."
I did feel his stomach, and I knew he was right. It had felt so real, but there really was nothing there. He was okay. He was here, and he was alive. I was calmed-down once again.
He gently leaned me back down to my pillow for me to sleep. He smiled before moving to get up. Before he could, I grabbed his shirt desperately. He looked down at my pleading eyes questioningly.
"Please don't leave me alone tonight," I whispered. He and I were both shocked. I thought he'd laugh at me. I was shocked that I had asked. I thought he'd scorn me and storm out.
But he just smiled at me gently, and started to lay his jacket on the floor to sleep. I refused to let go, pulling him towards my bed instead. He seemed unsure, as if I would mind, or it wasn't his place. He tried to resist, a true gentleman. I held onto his shirt tighter, trying to convey to him what I wanted without saying it. Luckily, he seemed to understand. So he threw his jacket on a chair and got into my bed. He held out his arms for me to snuggle into, which I did gratefully. I looked up at him.
"Did you call me sweetheart?" He seemed a little embarrassed.
"Did I say that out loud?" He sighed, seeing as he obviously had. "Yes, I called you sweetheart." Suddenly he looked at me in all seriousness. He looked nervous. "Can I ask you something?" He said quietly.
"Of course, anything,"  I quickly replied.
"Well, I know we haven't known each other very long. But I just feel, I don't know, this connection to you. You're just amazing and I just..I wanna know you better. Will you, maybe, go on a date with me?" he asked with a shy smile. My heart didn't give me a chance to hesitate. The words fell past my lips before my mind knew I was going to say them.
"I would love to go out with you."
He smiled, kissed my forehead gently, and I snuggled into him, falling into a deep and restful sleep.