Fairy Tail: Natsu?!

Will Natsu Ever Get Better?

I woke up what seemed like only seconds later. "Natsu! Natsu! Oh, thank god you're awake!" I shifted slightly and winced. "H-huh...?" I was extremely confused about what had happened, and I tried to let Erza know that with glances. "Natsu, you were unconscious for three weeks! We thought you were gone..." Lisanna was holding my hand - like Erza was - and Lisanna was crying. Her face was red and puffy. "Rea..lly...?" I tried to sit up, but that immediately seemed like a terrible idea, only because I screamed and spat out blood. "Natsu, lay down! Don't push yourself!" Erza quickly wiped my mouth and gently pushed me back down onto the bed. 

I looked into Erza's eyes for about five seconds straight, then I turned my head to look directly into Lisanna's eyes. I tilted my head so I could face the ceiling. "I... I j-just want..." I started crying and I tried to move my hands up to my face. "I just want t-to help you g-g-guys..!" I felt the both of the girls staring at me, wishing that they could help me.

"All I want to d-do is be helpful! Y-you guys make it look so e-easy! Why is i-it just me.. who can't do it..? I just... I can't help y-you.. I.. I'm sorry..." I continued to cry and I tried to move slightly. "Natsu, come on... You do help us.. You come get us when we're in trouble...." Erza tried to soothe me. "Whenever someone's sad, or about to make a bad decision, you always help get them under control... I mean, after all, I lo-" Lisanna cut her sentence short and put her head down. 

"I don't want to be alone... S-stay here.. with me.." I said quietly, then heard a loud noise. My immediate reaction was to jump up, so I quickly sat up and spit up blood all over the bed and floor. "Wh-who's there..?" I tried to sound harsh and threatening, but it came off in a whimper and a call for help. 

Gray came around a corner with a sad and pained look on his face, with worry written all over it. He quickly tried to fix it into a poker-face, but I still saw it. "Natsu... Umm.. I came to see if you had woken up. So... How're you feeling..?" I could hear the forced calm in Gray's voice, and I heard worry. "I-I'm o-okay... H-how're y-y-you...?" Erza and Lisanna looked at each other, and Gray looked at the floor for a few seconds. "I'm better than you..." He said sadly. I slowly nodded and laid down again.

"Gray... W-when I get b-b-better, we're definitely f-fighting." I gave him a small smile. Gray slowly moved his head up to glance at my face. "I... don't want to fight with you anymore. Why can't we like each other? Is that so wrong for us to be friends? Do we have to hurt each other instead of having an actual conversation?!" I sat in silence as the smile fell off my face. I was speechless; just staring at this person in front of me.

I searched my brain for something to say. Anything to say would be better than nothing. "Wh-who're y-y-you...?" was the first thing that came out of my mouth. "The Gray I know would love to fight me.." "I just don't want to fight with you anymore. Knowing the state you're in, and knowing that I could do that to you, I just can't bear the thought that all of this could be my fault. Normally, I'm fine with hurting you, but knowing that this  is what could happen, I'm not okay with that, and I would rather have you hate me, then have you feel nothing while you lie in a grave." My eyes were wide open and I felt my eyes start to water. My hands went to my chest as I started crying, and my eyes stung. "O-ow..." I stuttered out, and closed my eyes. 

"Gray.. C-come on, stop playing a-around..." I shifted my legs and moved my hands. "G-gray, s-s-say something....!" At that point, my hands were pushing against my chest while I cried. "Natsu, I'm not kidding. I'm not fighting with you anymore. You're the only one who has to take this seriously, not me. For once in your life, just use your head!" My eyes grew wide and my tears stopped immediately, then I started breathing heavily. 

"Natsu...? What's wrong.....?" Lisanna asked me as everyone stared. My heart was pounding and I felt like I couldn't breathe. My chest hurt, I started shaking, and it felt like the entire room was spinning. My hands were sweating, I felt like I was about to throw up. I suddenly got scared of going crazy and doing crazy things, my body went numb, and I got really hot, then cold. 

"N-natsu...?!" Erza probably squeezed my hand, but I couldn't feel it. Gray had put his head down and I started to cry again. "He's probably having a panic attack because of what I said..." Gray spoke quietly to Erza and Lisanna; sounding ashamed.

"What? Natsu? A panic attack? Are you serious?" Erza was really confused, as if I wasn't allowed to have emotions and panic attacks. I balled up my hands into fists and tried to calm myself down. Okay... Happy... Happy coming out of his shell... Lisanna.... Wendy.. I sighed and stopped shaking.

"Erza.... You know that I have feelings, right? Gray, you know I'm not stupid, don't you?" Lisanna looked at the floor while Gray and Erza breathed in sharply. "You know what? I'm done." I forced myself to sit up and get ready to stand. "Natsu... Where are you trying to go?" Lisanna asked me.

I managed to stand up and walk down the stairs. I went over to the large guild doors and opened the one on my left, and turned around so I could see the three. The sun warmed my back as I probably looked like a shadow puppet shape. "I'm leaving Fairy Tail, and I'm not coming back. Not again." I took my left hand and put it up to my guild mark while it was on fire. 

"Natsu.. W-what do you mean...? What're you doing?" Lisanna stuttered. "I'm done with this 'family' crap!" I tried to burn my arm, but my skin rejected the flames. "Ugh!" I looked around the guild and grabbed someones knife, and cut the mark off of my arm. "Ngh...." I fell down as everything went dark.