Brand New [Leonetta Fanfic]

Chapter 20 - My Guarantee

- It's okay, but what happened? - Camila had a concerned look in her eyes, as well as Fran.

I struggled to hold back my tears as I was coming back to that talk through my memory. The softness of his voice, the pain in my heart. I took a deep breath and opened my mouth to say it all because I needed someone to understand me. But then, entering that cafe, there was him, with his wild hazel eyes and cute smile, perfect, disarming me at the most, as always. So, no, I couldn't do it. I couldn't say it with him there, not with him. I would fall apart. So did I. Tears streamed down and I ran out of there, leaving Fran and Cami clueless. I still heard León calling my name but only made it worse.

I rushed forward an unknown destination, a peaceful place to stay, to cry out as I wanted, to let out all the frustration and pain I was feeling. Although, there was no place like that and the only one that could bring me such peace and calm wasn't there and was the source of all those feelings, so that place couldn't be an option then. I ended up heading to my house, but as I stood in the front door I realised that that was his spot too now. I glanced at the sky. It was already getting dark, so I decided to walk inside and have a soothing bath to relax. I was in too much stress.

*******

After a warm, calming shower and a nice dinner, I dressed to my pajamas and started writing on my diary. I really needed to speak to my mom.

Dear mommy

Right here, right now, you are the one thing I'm needing the most. I'm back to Buenos Aires, but trouble and pain are too far from having an end. I get the whole thing of the «no dating deal», however this not being easy at all. We are only in the first day, I can't even imagine how my life will be from now on. How am I supposed to deal with this?

I love him, mommy, and I know he loves me too, I cannot be away from him, he is asking too much. Or maybe not. Maybe I'm the selfish one here. He is only trying to protect both of us from more pain. And maybe that is one of the many reasons why I love him.

Even today I couldn't tell the girls what is going on because I saw him coming to us. I panicked and started to remember the friend-zone talk. This is harder than I expected and, as I said, we're only in day 1. I wonder how this will end.

Love you, Violetta

I read was I had written and flashbacked that talk. He said «I love you. Don't ask me why, I just feel it in my bones, in my heart and head. But, I can't go further than this, we can't. I am not going to risk both of us to suffer if I have to go to the USA. I don't want you to suffer more about losing someone in your life.»

I was trying not to fall apart, quickly drying my tears, when he knocked on my door and called me. I felt that, if I dared to say a word or make a sound, I would burst into cry, so I stayed quiet, waiting for his next move. He opened the door and, when he saw me bent down, he rushed to me.

- Hey, Vilu, what's going on? - He asked me. But, by that time I was already sobbing. Somehow, managed to stop crying with that intensity, so I took a deep breath. He was still asking me what was the matter, but I kept saying no with my head, afraid that with one single word another tear would stream down again. - It is about us, isn't it?

I looked at him. His eyes were shining with less light, they carried a shade of darkness, probably because he was worried about me.

- I wish I could tell you that no, it's not about us... but yes, it is. - I mumbled.

He swallowed me with his muscular arms and then I cried so hard I could feel my eyes hurting. He was trying to calm me, but then, slowly, I realised I was in his arms, I knew I was, I just hadn't realised that. So that was an enough calm pill. I looked up to him and tried to make his eyes meet mine. Once I achieved it, I smiled and flashbacked those two nights, those two special nights. I felt my heart pounding and a huge sense of guilt suddenly striked me. His eyes were lying not only on mine but also on my lips and, as much as I wanted to kiss him, I decided not to make things worse, even more complicated, so I backed away and ran out of my room before it was too late.