daybreak | yoonmin

may 13th.

Taehyung. He's just a man right? I think my love made him special

When that's gone I don't know him, or well. In a past life I knew him.

Teenage me knows him, but I don't. That might be clearer.

But I'm stuck here. He's so alluring. He's everything I used to want.

Borges and I

Jimin and I

Taehyung and Jimin

Same thing

And fuck him for leaving me when I begged him to never ever

Even though it made space for you. Oh my god it hurts sometimes.

For leaving again and again and

Coming in and out of my life like it's a fucing

*fucking grocery store

Not the best analogy I know shut up

Fuck it you understand what I'm saying don't you?

You're there, right Yoon?

I'm sorry for talking so much but you're the only friend who knows me

4:41 a.m.

I know he's bad for me. He's my nicotine

Much better metaphor

I used to smoke a little when I was younger. It was still pretty fucking naive. Just wanted to be edgy

So I know how it feels to crave something that is eating you alive. So bad your body can't work without it

This is corny but he's worse

Sooooo corny but he's hell

I'd rather die than have to do this dance forever

4:58 a.m.

I bought cigarettes earlier

I think it was me that bought them

Or perhaps it was the nostalgia

Or Jimin

Hmmm

5:09 a.m.

Trauma is so wild.

You mean to tell me I gotta live with this shit forever?

Crazy

5:24 a.m.

To be clear I didn't smoke the cigarettes

Don't wanna fall apart mentally and physically

Lol

I think I'm having a mental break I'm sorry this is so much

5:30 a.m.

I know when we were at the restaurant you said you think you're second best

It's not true

I hope I'm not overwhelming you when I say that sometimes I imagine what it would be like to still know you when I'm 70

5:40 a.m.

I am so scared of how I feel about you that I can't fall asleep

I am so scared of not having you around that I wish sometimes we never met at all

You take up so much space in my mind

You're gonna be mad at me for saying that and confusing you but I do I'd regret it so much if I didn't say that

You owe me rent money for that

6:04 a.m.

Oh look the sun is rising

I'm on the rooftop now, and I can see the station from here

The world looks so beautiful at daybreak

I know you might be concerned but I won't jump

6:18 a.m.

Yoongi?delivered.