Everything Has Changed

Bad Blood

"But then you moved to Vermont." Kelly quipped. "And your life became so much brighter because you met me."

I was so glad she wasn't mentioning Darius. We were bordering so close to him, that I needed conversation to drift another way. I was scared that if she spoke, his name would be on her lips.

I just didn't know what I wanted the conversation to turn to.

"Uh, hey, can you call Jenson for me? Tell him I'll be there in five."

Kelly wasn't telepathic, knowing that whatever I was saying was because I needed Darius out of the perimeters of conversation. And it wasn't because she wasn't a good friend. It was just because nobody knew about Darius and I.

Everyone knew he left at some point, everybody assumed I knew he was leaving so no one was shocked for me. The only people who knew about what happened between me and Darius were myself, Darius and Jenson. And Jenson only knew because he happened to see me wake the next day, as my face contorted into a mixture of misery and horror as I saw the 'For Sale' sign.

"Sure." Kelly's voice disrupted my thoughts and I was thankful. I needed to be distracted by the memories of that day. Today was supposed to be fun. Shopping for prom, pampering myself as a gift from Kelly, an early dinner with my parents before I took the late shift at work.

Once I parked, I headed to the charismatic coffee shop that had been a local hangout called Charisma (go figure) where Jenson was the barista. I handed him his packed lunch and he began preparing for the coffees for Kelly and I.

"What time will you be done today?" Jenson asked as he swirled the milk around in the hot rod.

"Depends on how quick I can find a dress to look smashing on me." I replied.

"Oh yeah, definitely. We need you to be absolutely irresistible at prom, the boys are going to love it." Kelly agreed enthusiastically.

We were back in that territory where Darius' name could be brought up in the blink of an eye. Even though Kelly had been my best friend for years, she didn't know about what happened between he and I. She, just like everyone else minus Jenson, assumed we corresponded often and he left on good terms.

Which was why I constantly feared heading in the 'dating' conversation, or 'prom' conversation or anything to do with the possibility of Darius being brought up. She just didn't know the pain it brought me, and there was no way after all this time I could tell her.

"Just what every brother wants to hear." Jenson grumbled.

"What, boys flacking around her? Come on, you know they do! Gosh, as soon as Darius left it was like the harem finally appeared to ask her out. I was kind of jealous," she giggled.

There it was. She said it. His name. I felt sick and any chance that dress shopping would be fun today dissipated. I would probably get over it soon enough, though. I had to.

"Why Kel?" Jenson smiled affectionately. "You're gorgeous. I'm sure there are guys asking you out all the time." It wasn't creepy, his affection. It was innocently brotherly. And not in the way people might assume that since they grew up like siblings, they would eventually have sparks and rainbows and they would date. No, it was so sibling-like that sometimes I forgot Kelly hadn't been another accident my parents made back in the good ol' days.

And Jenson's affectionate response was to try and levitate the topic of Darius away from me; I knew that just by the simple side-glance he spared me to see if I was okay. I just wished sometimes that Kelly would be telepathic and knew what was going on.

"I may be gorgeous but I didn't have a relationship like Darius and Summer. Even though casual dating is fun, what they had was pretty special. How is Darius, by the way? Do you guys still talk?" Kelly turned to me, her tone casual. She was oblivious to the worried stare of Jenson, or the air vent sucking away all of my oxygen.