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Relapsing

Harry's POV
I woke up to the smell of vanilla and hair in my mouth. I smile and move her hair out of my way and pull her closer to me. She starts fidgeting and I kiss the back of her head and whisper in her ear "good morning baby girl".
She turns around in my arms and puts hers around my waist and hugs me. "Hi".
She looks at me and I smile and kiss her lips softly. After I pull away she's smiling so big I swear her face might break. "What?"
"Nothing, I'm just.... Really happy" She continues to smile which makes me smile more than I already was. "I'm glad that your happy baby"
She then makes me lay on my back and crawls on my lap and kisses me hard. We song for what feels like hours. And then we just look at each other. We start to laugh a little and then there's a knock on the door. Kirsten climbs off my lap and goes to open the door. "Hey Gemma" "Hey mom told me to tell you breakfast is ready."
"Ok we'll be down in a sec thank you " "Ok"
She walks back over to me and kisses me and then turns around trying to find her clothes and tries to go to the bathroom but I pull her back by her shirt and pull her back in my lap. "You're not going anywhere. " "and who says" she whispers and looks at me over her shoulder. "I did. " "and I should listen to you why?" "Because I fooking said so. " I growled in her ear and laughed at the face she made. I make her stand up and I turn her around and she looked down at me. "And what are you going to do if I don't listen?" "I'll kiss the shit out of you" I say and smirk. "Oh I'm so scared. " she says and laughs a little. "You will be " I say and pull her towards me I start to lift up the long shirt I gave to her years ago but she stops me. "What's wrong?" She frowns and pulls it back down. " nothing " I frown too and pull her down so she's sitting in my lap again but facing me this time. "Somethings wrong. What is it? You can tell me baby"
I say and look her in the eyes. She then looks down and starts fidgeting with her hands and moves her hair in front of her face. I know exactly what wrong now. "Baby?" She keeps looking at her hands. "Baby please look at me" I plead and she just keeps staring at her hands. I put my hand on her face and she pulls away and looks to the side. "Baby? Are you ok?" She keeps biting her lip and that's when I see why it's quivering. She's about to cry and doesn't want me to see . "Baby I'm not gonna force you into anything you know that. " that doesn't seen to help as she's still not looking at me. I put my hand on her cheek and she looks down again. I take both of my hands on her face and force her to look at me and her lips quiver and I can see her trying to fight the tears but she can't contain them any longer and they slowly spill down her cheeks. I pull her forward and lay her head on my shoulder as I whisper in her ear telling her I'm here for her and I love her. Once she calms down a little bit she finally sits back up and looks at me. "I'm sorry " she whispers. "It's ok baby just tell me what's wrong. I'm here for you. " she looks me in the eyes and tells me the words I would have never guessed she would say. " I'm relapsing." And she looks back down and puts her head in her hands when she sees the look on my face. "I'm sorry. I tried so hard to keep my head up. I did I promise. I listened to your music I did everything you told me to do. It's just coming back and I hate it. I hate hating myself. I hate the way I look, the way I feel, i hate the way I think, I just can feel high school coming back all over again and I hate it so f***ing much. " she says and takes a big breath and looks back up at me. Her eyebrows furrow as if she's even more sad when she looks at me. "What?" I ask. "You're crying Harry. " she says and puts her hands to my cheeks and slowly wipes away my tears and kisses my cheeks and then my eyelids then my forehead and then my chin and looks me in the eyes.  "I'm sorry but how can I not cry when the girl I love most in this world tells me she hates her self. Nobody deserves to hate there selves. Especially you, out of all the people you had to feel this way. And it just makes me want to cry bc ur going back to the worst time of your life and I haven't been here for you." I say and continue to cry as she cries in my lap. She looks hopeless she looks tired and sad. And my baby shouldn't look like that she should be happy and smiling. The only reason she should ever be crying or in pain is when she laughs so hard her stomach cramps up, or she cries because she's laughing to hard. I'm going to fix this if it's the last thing I do.