Claws

Chapter Ten- Breakdown

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    Ten 

    “Oh, my God, what are we gonna do, what are we gonna do, what are we gonna do?!” Sydney panicked from the back seat. It was about five that evening, around two hours after we’d ran from the diner, and Sydney was still freaking out. 

    “Sydney!” Jack snapped, irritated. “Could you please just shut up?” 

    “Excuse me for being concerned about our future!” she barked. 

    “You don’t think I’m concerned?!” Jack yelled, slamming on the brakes. 

    “Jesus, Jack, why don’t you just throw me through the damn windshield?!” I snipped, distressed, agitated. He ignored my comment, his attention still focused on Sydney. 

    “You don’t think I’m worried as hell about what’s going to happen to you?! To Kaylee?! To me?! Sydney, you don’t understand what kind of weight is on my shoulders right now!” he kept yelling and I was grinding my teeth together, hard. We were still pulled over on the side of the road and I was so incredibly stressed, I didn’t even think I could take it anymore. 

    “Why do I feel like I’ve heard this fight before?” I screeched, butting in. They both turned to stare at me. “Why do I feel like every fight between you two is always the same? Sydney’ll say something irritating, Jack, you’ll overreact, you scream at each other and we almost get killed! I know it’s impossible not to fight in the scenario we’re in right now, but you know what?! We have to try! Okay?! Try! I’m tired, I’m hungry and I’m scared, all right? Is that what you two want to hear from me?! I’ll admit it, I’m scared! No, I’m not scared, I’m terrified! I’ve never been more horrified, mortified in my entire life! I’ve never wanted to be home more than I do right now, I’ve never ever wanted to hear Colby’s voice more than I do right now, I don’t think I’ve ever wanted my mom so much since she died! Okay?! I want her! I want her to hold me in her arms, I want her to tell me it’s alright, I want her to promise me that I’m not going to die here! But, even if she was here, guess what?! She wouldn’t be able to say that, because it’d be a freaking lie! Got it?! A lie! If you two can’t get along, God-forbid, we’re gonna die! We’re probably gonna die anyway, but there’s a better chance we’ll live a tad longer if you two learn how to cope with each other! Okay?! I’m scared. I’m scared... I’m scared...” I finished my little rant, repeating those words, while tears flowed down my cheeks. I stared at them for a long minute and they said nothing. I yanked the car door open, stepping out and slamming it hard, strutting away from the car. I wasn’t planning on going anywhere. I just needed some fresh air. And on the side of this winding country back road seemed like the only option. I looked up at the sky, breathing through a tight throat, my hands on my head. 

    “Please,” I cried up at the sky. Up at nothing. “just help me!” I was only a few feet away from the car and I was stopped, so I knew they didn’t think I was running off. Where would I even go? I dropped in the tall grass to my knees, doubling over, clutching my stomach and putting my head on my knees. I cried and cried, groaning and yelling at nothing, having a complete and utter breakdown. 

    “Why is this happening to me?!” I mumbled down to the ground. “Why is this happening to me?!” I screamed up to the sky this time. “Why?! Why, just tell me why!” I sobbed, grabbing the grass and yanking it out of the dirt. 

    There are no words... to explain the feeling... none at all. It was impossible to function, breathe, think, anything really... I wanted to just scream my head off, die, pull my hair out, but... more than anything, I just wanted to wake up. I wanted this to be a horrible, unforgettable nightmare. But instead, it was a horrible, unforgettable experience.