Bright Lights, Broken Dreams

Chapter 12

Anders warred with his own mind. Go to her, she needs you comes from one part of him the other says she doesn't need you she has Si and Ez. Then and even small part of him, deep down where it can barely be seen is another part of him that says he needs them all, as much as she seems to need them, does she need him too, he wonders, is there a place in her life for him. He runs his hand through his hair, closing his eyes a moment.

Silas looked to Ezra and ran a hand gently through Freya's beautiful hair. "You shall have me as long as you wish..but I am guarded just as all of you and Ezra are, you share a stronger bond with him because of your shared abilities and light, it does not mean that I do not care for you or Anders." Though he would not be the first to make a move where Anders was concerned. Silas' own pain ran far too deep for that.

The only reason he'd kissed Ez in front of her was to wake Ez from the dream state...his relationship with Ez was complicated, there was a bond there that went far deeper then the "brothers" they were raised to be, a bond that they'd both been very careful to protect, but perhaps also push away because it was far from societal norms.

Slowly, he dropped his hand from her hair. He needed to breathe, to run, to push away all else, ever the soldier, safety came first..he shouldn't be pushing himself beyond that not now not when the skies were nearly void of light. "Going for a run" He said more to Ezra then anyone else, not that Ezra would be able to stop him. Ezra ran his hand through Freya's hair and nodded to him, though his attention was still mostly on Freya, worried for her.

She wanted to call out, get him to come back. Would he if she asked she didn't know. He was running, she knew running, both her and Anders have done their share. It should be he was running to us when he needed to push everything else away. She needed to find a way to get past the defences he put up. The wall he build inside, he had seen much, lost much, but he had so much still left in his life, and to gain in her.

As long as she wished, well how would she get that if he ran every time. She clutched resting her head back on Ezra's shoulders. "He may care for us.." she started softly, "but he still keeps us all on the outside of the small bubble he has around himself. I get loss I do, but holding onto it, will eventually ruin the future, and those in it."

It would ruin her. Silas had become so important in such a short time., Ezra too, but he seemed to be planted firmly at her side. She had seen it with Anders too. Anders and Silas, cut from the same cloth, ready to protect those they are closest too. "Do we let him go? It doesn't feel right."

Ezra was seemingly rooted with her, perhaps even intertwined on some level, but that didn't mean he didn't have other concerns. The reason he hadn't left her side was out of love, and worry, knowing that Freya was not yet strong enough to stand on her own. She was younger then them by a few years, innocent still in some ways, yet because of Anders situation, she might understand.

"We can't keep him boxed in Freya, his pain, his loss go far deeper then you or I could even imagine. He's seen some very brutal things and lost someone he cared for deeply in a violent way...We have to let him breathe, just as you let Anders breathe." He kissed her forehead. "Grief ebbs and flows like the ocean, he needs time, time he hasn't really had and just as he needs time, Anders needs you"

Silas had already made a couple of laps around the block at that point. He needed to run off his anxiety, and he was now dripping with sweat. He moved towards his truck to grab a towel, and that's when he spotted something up in one of the nearby trees. Maybe it had just been an animal, but they weren't usually that clumsy. He moved quietly towards the tree and spotted the duffel bag first..

Maybe it was just some kid, was it paranoia? A figment of his imagination. He held back for a moment, the man in the tree putting on thermal goggles, reaching for something. Silas picked up a rock and threw it up at the tree, to draw the man's attention to him, rather then the house, maybe knocking him off balance, though he wasn't exactly on even ground, his gun was in the truck.