You Let Me Surrender

Daunt

The strand that once held me so tight  

And pulled me to you 

Has become so light

And the bond almost unglued

I feel you pulling me

With all of your strength 

I hear it break under the pressure

But you attempt to mend it, for my sake

Where are we headed

I cannot tell

As I lay right beside you, bedded 

You are sleeping, but I am going through Hell

I toss and turn under the covers

Contemplating my desicion 

So young, but I can see myself with you for eternity, forever 

I hear your light snore next to me, and I lie as I listen 

I can't bring myself to sleep 

I can barely breathe 

I feel your arm latch over my waist, limp and weak

You pull me close in your sleep, and there, I know it's you I need

I know you need me too

To be there for you to fall back on

To guide you

But to brush me away when you can stand alone 

I don't want that for us

I don't want that uncertainty of when you will need me, will want me

I need security, and your constant love and whole trust 

I need you to never leave my side, to be there at my ease

I need to not need you

You take me for granted

I need to leave you

Leave you disenchanted 

I feel your breath hot on my neck, breathing steadily

But I see deep frowns residing on your face

And I want nothing, but to kiss them away, tenderly 

And see a smile replace 

But I can't get everything I want 

And maybe this is for the best

I climb from the bed, abandoning that want  

As I kiss your cheek, I cry, leaving you to rest

You love me, you hurt me, you desert me, you lust me

This is not who I fell for

I'm not sure you would believe

But I am not the same me you once adored

I walk to the doorway of the bedroom, and look back at you

Soundly sleepily, I do not wish for you to wake

I suppress my want to hold you, to kiss you, to love you and go

I know I am doing it all for your sake

I hear the bound that held me to you snap

It is so loud in my head, but I know it is only a figment

I broke it; I created this gap

I know you heard it too, and it is almost as if we never existed 

Don't go, I hear

Please never leave me, your voice says so clear

I sink to the floor, as I am brought to tears

I feel you wrap around me on the floor, and murmur in my ear

And at that moment I know I can never leave you 

For your love gladdens me, saddens me

Makes me feel an irrepressible need for you

Your love daunts me