thin ⚣ phan

one

dan looked in the mirror. he scanned his body from head to toe and he could finally see what everyone else saw, fat. it was all that sticked out and it was all over his body. he wasn't toned at all, he had a tummy and his thighs were to big and his arms were huge and he hated it.

dan sighed as he headed downstairs while on his way out of the house he had to make up an excuse to get out of eating breakfast, again. as much as his stomach was growling for food dan wasn't planning to gain weight any time soon and the only way to do that was not eat at least that's what dan thought.

_

after walking a couple blocks he had made his way to the place of torture or
high school. as he headed inside it wasn't long until people started giving him dirty looks as if he was a stain on a work of art. stains like dan supposly weren't pretty especially not if they damage a work of art but art is seen diffrently in everyone's eyes so that stain is much of a work of art as a painting is.

dan's first class was math which he completly dispised for many reasons but that wasn't an excuse to not show up to the class according to his mother.

soon he arrived and sat in his usual desk in the back because the only thing he liked about this class was the teacher seemed to not care if dan didn't listen to anything he was saying.

that was until a couple moments ago because then dan's math teacher soon began getting closer and closer to his desk with every step he took. then blunty the teacher looked dan straight im the eyes and said,"dan how many sets of at least two consecutive positive integers have a sum of 15?"

dan felt the eyes of the other students trail onto him as he hesisantly sat there trying to make it seem as if he was thinking of the answer even if in reality he had no clue what the teacher was talking about.

seconds felt like minutes. dan hadn't replied yet and he felt that it was quite pointless of himself wasting that time in complete silence which his teacher noted.

"you need to study more" the math teacher briefly said as he took a marker in his hand and turned around to face the board.

"the fags stupid too" one of the guys snickered but the teacher was supposly to concentrated on writing the rest of what he was talking about on the board to even notice the fact that dan was being harassed by own peers.

dan didn't even try to put up his hand or even tell his teacher what was going on because at this point dan was used to being called things like fag, loser and pig everyday and he tried making it seem as if he didn't care about it but it the names always stuck with him. so even if he tried he wasn't capable of not caring about what they said about him behind his back.

_

the clock struck twelve-thirty which meant block six had started, in order words dan had lunch. the highschool cafeteria was just a place where people ate greasy lunch food while gossiping about anything but if your name's dan howell then you usually end up sitting alone due to the lack of friends and you always end up getting picked on by the jocks that think their all that superior just because there on the football team yet never win a game.

as if on time there they were standing on the other side of the table looking down at dan that was too distracted by a book he was reading to notice there pressence.

"hey fag what you reading?" one of the jocks said as the others kept quite.

"something you wouldn't understand"

"are you being smart with me you fat pig"

he's right dan you're a fat pig your never going to win this fight you know that because the pathetic one never wins.

"no-i-ju-st" just like that dan had lost the fight not only with the jocks but with his mind too.

right then and there was when the cafeteria went silent. all eyes were on dan and the jocks. one hit. two hits. six hits. it was officially over dan was on the floor with a black eye and bruises slowly appearing on his pale skin.

dan felt the tears forming and he knew he had to get away from all the people watching his every move. after running out of the cafeteria he found himself in the bathroom.

do it dan, your fat and that's why everyone treats you like nothing so do it dan let it out.

dan didn't know what to do he just wanted to go home he just wanted to feel safe.

moments after he found himself on his knees, kneeling besides to the toilet and placing a finger down his throat to only let the once formed tears out. it took two tries until he threw up and then he was crying full tears.

"hello is anyone there i won't hurt you i'm actually nice wait you probably think i'm lying...ah i just want to help...i heard you crying" someone said on the other side of the bathroom stall.

stop crying you pathetic pig his mind told him as opened the stall only too meet a boy with brown curly hair and green eyes.

"hey are you okay?" he asked not at all i feel like dying dan thought but all he replied with was 'yes i'm okay' as he pulled his sleeve and wiped off the visible tears scattered on his cheeks.

the guy with the curly brown hair then exchanged names with him. pj was his name, this pj guy also thought it would be a great idea if dan went out with him and his friends on saturday.

dan just nodded to what pj was saying even though he had lost track of what pj was saying. he was too busy thinking about the fact that pj could just be like everyone else and that the only reason was he was talking to him was because he felt sorry for him.

_

dan arrived home luckily for him his mother wasn't home but then again when was she. his stomach growled because he was lacking in his eating habits in fact this entire week dan had went without letting a single piece of food touch his mouth.

water kept him full most of the time  but when water didn't work then dan had to go through a day while his stomach ached due to the low nutrition.

today was different dan had felt the need to eat, he wanted to eat and it didn't matter what but the thought of eating something like pizza made him nauseous so even if he was hungry enough to eat a meal for a family of six. he couldn't go through with it not with his thoughts constantly telling him he was fat so he ended up eating stale crackers.

tiny bits of the stale food was all dan was able to consume after all this time because dan's body after months of being put through torture of not eating quite enough wasn't capable of taking in all of this amount of food.

with one more bite he took in he sighed because he couldn't do this he wanted food but he didn't need it. the more and more pressure this put on his shoulders made him realize this wasn't going to be easy and even after months he didn't know if he could get used to it enough to lose weight but he'd have too.