Zayn and Niall: Everybody Needs Somebody Sometimes

Brokenhearted Salvations

"You can't blame him for this, you know," Harry said after a moment. "Just think of how overwhelming everything must have gotten for him. He's human too, Niall."

"I'm fighting it, you're fighting it, everyone else is fighting it, so why isn't he?" Niall demanded.

"I don't have all the answers, alright?" Harry snapped. "You know, this is your problem, Niall. Every time Zayn does something wrong, something to hurt himself, you take it onto your own conscience. You never stop to think about what it means to him, or why he does it, or anything other than the fact that he did do it!"

Niall remained silent, but his chest was hammering. Was that true? Was he really that selfish and insensitive?

"Just once. You wanna know why he did it? Just come over and talk to him. Staying home and sulking isn't going to change what happened. Come over if you want, I'm sick of begging you," Harry said. "The choice is yours."

Niall stared at the phone, confused at Harry's sudden bad mood. He'd always been so persuasive on the phone, what had happened? Was Zayn getting worse? Were they all blaming him for this?

Harry's voice appeared again. "Niall?"

Niall sighed into the phone, breath rattling like ice inside his lungs, thinking of Zayn alone in the ward, waiting for him.

"Fine," he said, voice dipping downwards, finally breaking at the thought of never delivering his own promises of always being there for his boyfriend (but did promises really count in situations like this anymore?), "I'll come over tonight."

"It's about time."

"Yeah," Niall mumbled, staring down at his feet. "I'll stay if I can, Harry, but I have to leave if gets too much."

"He'll be glad to see you," Harry said quietly. "Even if he doesn't show it."

Niall felt something close around his throat. Stifling an unidentifiable emotion, he pulled the phone away from his ear and let it drop, hanging from the tangled cord. He watched it swing back and forth like a pendulum, a metronome thumping inside his chest. It was a few moments before he heard the click of Harry hanging up on the other end.

Slowly, he reclined back onto the sofa, curling up inside the blanket. He'd been sleeping on the couch for a while, because everything else reminded him too much of Zayn, everything else smelled like coffee and cigarettes, and missing half of himself.

He tried to imagine the final moments in Zayn's mind. Would he have remembered Niall? How could he? How could he think of Niall and still find it in himself to do it? How could he leave Niall like this, didn't he know that he needed him too?

Turning over onto his side, he tried to salvage the remaining scraps of calmness he had left. It wouldn't be much longer till he broke; exploded, like a minefield. Niall didn't want to know how that would turn out.

The only thing he could do now was wait, and count the seconds till the time came to go and see Zayn.

--

Louis sat beside Zayn, holding one of his hands gently. Zayn had only awoken once or twice today, promptly falling back asleep each time. The doctors had put him under a strong dosage of painkillers and sleeping pills, to let his body heal from the trauma by itself.

"How's he doing?" Liam asked, stepping into the room with Harry by his side.

Louis looked up, then glanced back down at Zayn's closed face. "Probably would be better if Niall bothered showing up."

"He will," Liam said. "He's just told Harry that he'll be here tonight."

Harry sighed, easing into the seat beside Louis and resting his head lightly on Louis' shoulder. For a moment, despite the sharp stinging scent of hospital disinfectants and constant beep of machinery inside the room, Louis felt a sense of belonging, of home. Harry smelled like soft peaches and delicate baby powder, and Louis almost couldn't contain the powerful surge of affection inside his chest.