Probably a bit of a boring chapter.
Taylor's POV.
______________________
I was as pure as a river
But now I think I'm possessed
You put a fever inside me
And I've been cold since you left
Spending two nights in a row with Karlie is a risky thing, you think, as you chop vegetables in your kitchen. Usually, you're careful to scatter out the days you spend with her in secrecy, for no other reason than that you can only make up excuses for your longterm boyfriend not to come over so many times in a week.
This morning waking up was a blissful thing; you opened your eyes to find yourself in a familiar position in the fluffy white sheets you know all too well, lying on your side with Karlie spooning you. The hold of her arms around your waist was incredibly strong, even in her sleep, and the feeling of warm breath on your neck made you feel cozy- You sunk deeper into her, wanting to fall back asleep, when you felt a light kiss on your shoulder.
Her morning voice was groggy. "You fell asleep on the couch, you know. I had to carry you in here."
You smiled at that, realizing you indeed had no recollection of going to bed at all.
Suddenly, effortlessly, she flipped you over to face her, as if you weighed nothing, and kissed your nose. "Good morning." Your favorite smile in the world graced her face, and you replied something similar back, telling her you wanted to go back to sleep. She kissed your cheek this time, and slipped lower on the mattress to bury her face in your neck, and mumbled an "Okay." The position was perfect for some reason, and you felt a weird sense of contentment as you started to drift off again.
And then, as if to take a dump on the serenity of the beautiful morning, your phone began to ring obnoxiously loud on the bed-side table behind Karlie.
Annoyed, you blindly tried to reach over her, but it was too far. To accommodate you she rolled over, laying on her back, and pulled you on top of her. Finally reaching the phone, you hit answer without even checking the caller ID, just to shut off the deafeningly loud ringing. Karlie started kissing your neck beneath you.
"Hello?" Your voice held hints of annoyance.
"Hey babe." A Scottish accent caught you off guard and almost made you jump. Suddenly, you felt the body underneath yours tense up, and the trail of kisses being planted along your neck immediately halted. She was obviously close enough to have heard him through the phone.
"Oh, hi." Your cheeks flushed red as you tried to sound as enthusiastic as you could manage, quickly slipping off of her and off the bed to have this shame inducing conversation in private in the living room.
You didn't dare look back at her as you left.
He had told you then that he wanted to come over for dinner tonight, because he "missed his baby", and you knew you couldn't tell him no.
And he was running over an hour late, as usual. You had expected as much, being used to it by now, and so hadn't been in any rush to ready your dinner. Still working on it now, and mentally pep talking yourself to spend the evening with your boyfriend, you have the sudden urge to release the tension you've had built up since the phone call that interrupted your morning.
Not having the time to sneak a quick smoke, you do the next best thing- you call up a friend to vent.
The lasagna has been placed in the oven by the time you sit down at your kitchen table and dial the number, and a minute later you're greeted by the one and only person on the whole planet who knows what's going on between Karlie and you.
"Ed" you exclaim, in way of greeting.
"Taylor!" As always, Edward sounds positively ecstatic that you called. "Mate, it's been forever!"
"I know, I'm sorry. I've been busy." You tell him sheepishly, because you know he'll understand what you've been busy with. He chuckles in response.
"Shagging supermodels taking up too much of your time then, Tay?" Came the expected reply, and for some reason, this makes you blush; primarily because you're not used to anyone addressing the fact that you are, indeed, sleeping with a model.
Ed has known for a while now. Since almost two months into when you and Karlie first started. It was an accident, and he wasn't supposed to find out, but you and Karlie were still learning to be discreet back then and hadn't quite gotten the hang of paying attention to detail. Karlie, in particular, was terrible at keeping the whole thing a secret, and the price was paid one day when you told her she should leave your apartment soon as you were expecting Ed over. You'd left her then to go to the bathroom, and as luck would have it, Ed chose that very moment to show up at your doorstep, leaving Karlie to answer the door.
You'll never forget the moment arriving back into the living room and finding Ed in the doorway, staring at Karlie with an utterly bewildered look on his face, and you've always imagined, when Karlie turned around to face you, the look on your face probably matched his.
Her entire neck had been covered in your lipstick stains, and the better part of her chest that was visible in her V-neck shirt, yet her carefree grin was stuck to her face obviously oblivious to what you were staring at.
"I have to get going, but it was nice seeing you again" Karlie told Ed, who was still stunned into speechlessness, and could only manage a nod. With a quick hug to you, in your panic-struck and frozen state, she was out the door in a second.
"I can explain." You had said to Ed, finally.
"I think that would be necessary." His widened eyes were trained on you, and with a sigh, you had led him to the couch, and for the first time ever, had told the tale of you and your supermodel sweetheart out loud.
Since that day, he's been your confidante, your accomplice of sorts, being the only person you ever go to when in destress over matters involving Karlie - such as right now.
"This morning was so bad, Ed." You groan into the phone.
"How come?" You hear him bite into an apple or something.
"I spent the night at Karlie's, and we were having a really great morning actually, until, my phone rang and...and she was close enough to hear who it was, and-"
"Oh no." Ed stops you, understanding. "She watched you talk on the phone with him right after waking up with her?"
When he said it like that, it just made you wince.
"I feel like the most fucked up person on the planet." You say honestly. It may have been dramatic, but it wasn't untrue.
"Taylor." Even the way he says your name is comforting. "You of all people can't say that about yourself. You don't do anything wrong-"
You laugh at him like he's crazy.
"I keep hurting her." You remind him. "I keep going back, again and again, when this isn't what she needs. She'd be so much better off if I just backed off and never bothered her again, but I keep going to her and I-"
"Hey", it's his turn to cut you off. "You care about her."
"I love her." You correct him.
"Exactly! More than I've ever seen anyone love anybody else. And she cares about you too, really really does. Sure, you guys have a bit of ugly but you also have something very special. It would be stupid to throw that all away, hell, do you think she'd be okay with you never bothering her again?"
Your silence is his cue to continue.
"You're a good person, Taylor, who loves someone else and has good intentions with them, but you're just stuck in a tricky situation. She isn't blind to the reasons why you two can't openly be together, and I'm sure she realizes that none of those reasons are your own fault- that's just the life you live, so cut the self-loathing bullshit and go buy your girl some flowers or some shit."
There is a pause then, in the phone call, that you think lasts a good two minutes. And, you can't lie, you suddenly feel lighter than you have all day.
"I, just. Thank you, Ed." You tell him softly. In your head, you picture him smiling.
"No problem." He replies just as softly. "I guess you sometimes just need me to remind you of all the things you already know."
You laugh at him, but it's cut short when you hear a knock on the door, and it can only be one person.
"Um, he just arrived at my house for dinner." You tell Ed quickly.
"Oh." The stoic reply reflects just how much lack of fondness Ed really holds for your 'boyfriend.'
"Well, call me later then." He tells you, and quickly exchanging goodbye's and promises to talk soon, you get up and walk to the door.
Examining yourself in mirror on the way, it hits you that the idea of attempting to look presentable hadn't even occurred to you - which you think speaks volumes about just how uninterested you are in the person you've dating for almost a year now.
Running a hand through your tousled hair to smooth it out as much as you can, you finally swing the door open, revealing the tall, blonde figure you had been expecting.
"Sorry I'm late, sweetheart." He smiles in that way he thinks is charming.
"I was beginning to think you wouldn't show, Adam."
You fake a grin at him, and let him envelope you in a hug.
I've got a boyfriend now and he's made of gold,
And you've got your own mistakes in a bed at home
I'm hoping you could save me now, but you break and fold
You've got a fire inside, but your heart's so cold
