My life (And how I suck at it)

Me! (And how I thin about myself)

So I thought, I started this book, but how could people find this interesting, while they don't know anything about me xD

So here is a whole chapter just about me and who I am xD and how I think about myself :P

Oke, so, I'm Kirsten, I'm 13 years old, and I live somewhere in The Netherlands. And now to get to the part where everyone's waiting for.... I'm a depressed girl with autism. Ive got my depression thingie sinds I was 8 or 7, and to be honest, I'm my language what I have is called Distieme Stoornis. It's a light version of depression, so I just call it depression xD
But, yeah... That kinda sucks!

So now let's talk about my interest, enjoy maybe a little bit about my problems later xD.

My hobbies are Horse back riding, drawing, singing, writing and gaming xD (#gaminggirlsforthewin!) I don't have a class right now, but when I did, I really loved school. And now everyone thinks I'm a crazy idiot xD

But yeah, I enjoy school alot, but sadly I can't go to school at the moment.

Well, let's talk a bit more about my problems then shall we xD

First, let's just talk a bit about Autism.
My Autism was diagnosed about 2 months ago, so Im still very new with it xD.
For the ones that don't really now what autism is, autism is an kind of handicap that is in my brain. It makes is harder for me to communicate and that kind of things. If you want detailed information I recommend looking it up xD

So, my autism has cost me some problems. And it's one of the biggest reasons I'm not going to school at the moment.
Cause of my autism, I find it very hard to get an conversation with people, unless we have a kind of bond at the beginning, then it's a bit easier for me. Second, cause of my autism, I can get a panic attack when it's really stressful or when I am just very sad or depressed, get to that in a moment.
But, because of those panic attacks I can't go to school.

Now you may be wondering, but hey, you said you liked school, why the panic attacks?
Well, also because of my autism, my sentences work really well, so if you make a sound, and move something at the same time, I'll notice them both. So in a school, where people can't be quit, I get distracted all the time, and there are a lot of people, what makes me insecure about myself and everything. So I get a panic attack, even before entering a school.

Now, let's get to the depressed part.
As I said, I'm light depressed, but that doesn't mean I feel just slightly sad. No, I can feel terrible sometimes. And to be honest, I even thought about killing myself sometimes.
I get help for it, so don't worry.
But, sometimes when im feeling sad, I need to talk. And most of the time it's in the middle of the night, so I can't. And because of my autism even talking about it when I want to is hard. So that's one of the reasons that I started this. So when I feel depressed, I could just write a chapter and hope someone will find it, read it, and chat with me.

Well, I think that's enough for now. If you have any questions just leave a comment, and I'll see you tomorrow.

Byeer