SEPARATED

TWENTY-THREE

JOAN:

I hadn't spoken to Jacob since the incident at the restaurant. I still couldn't believe he was capable of hurting Sarah and I the way he had. I really thought he was a nice guy; different from the others; better than the others. I thought he was absolutely perfect. The way I adored him, the way I cherished him; only to find out he wasn't who I thought he was. What really upset me is even after he found out Sarah and I were cousins, he still saw it fit to play his little game.

After the whole truth had come out, I had tried the 'let's not let a boy come between us' approach on Sarah. But it had terribly backfired and widened the gap between us. In her eyes, I was simply trying to take Jacob for myself. She even blamed me for the whole matter. Jacob was right; at times Sarah could be really paranoid.

Then again, perhaps she was right. Perhaps I did want Jacob for myself. Because had I not known all along that there was another girl in the picture? Had Jacob not clearly explained to me his unclear feelings for this girl? Yes I may not have known she was my cousin, but I definitely knew she was there all along. And finding out she was my cousin made little, if not no difference.

It was a battle between my cousin and I for Jacob. A battle I'd fought from the very beginning when Jacob first told me of Sarah. Back then I didn't know I was fighting for Jacob. I didn't realise I was subconsciously trying to take him from Sarah. I didn't even know Sarah was my cousin. But things had changed. Everything was crystal clear now. I had lost the advantage I had when Sarah knew nothing about me. But at least I now knew who I was up against.

I regretted ignoring Jacob's phone calls and messages. I grabbed my phone and quickly scrolled down the contact list till I found his number. I was just about to call when someone knocked at the door. My mother was fast asleep on the sofa. I moved quietly past her to the door.

********

JACOB:

As the door slowly opened, I was relieved to see that it was Jo and not her mother. She studied me before saying "we have a doorbell you know" a little smile on her face.

"I know" I said smiling back.

She stepped out and hugged me tight. "I missed you" she said.

"Me too." I whispered. I hadn't expected things to go this way. I thought I'd be confronted by a furious Jo. As if reading my thoughts, she released me, stepped back and slapped me hard on my face. "Jo! What was that for?!" I demanded rubbing my cheek.

"That was to remind you this isn't a happy reunion. I'm still mad at you for what you did to Sarah and I" she blurted. "Now wait here as I get my coat" she said entering the house.

"Women" I muttered to myself still rubbing my cheek. I collected some snow and pressed it against my cheek to numb the pain. Man she slapped harder than a vampire!

She returned shortly wearing a knee length black coat. It looked big on her, and rather familiar. "Yes it's yours, you left it at the restaurant so I kept it for you" she said again reading my thoughts. I nodded and said thanks. I hadn't been to the restaurant in three days.

"How is the restaurant?" I asked.

"It's okay. You should come back."

"I can't. And even if I wanted to, your mum wouldn't let me" I told her.

She nodded in agreement before taking my hand. "So where are you taking me tonight Mr.Stewart?"

I looked at her thoughtfully before finally deciding on where to go. I led her to the city park. It was a terrible thirty minute walk; characterised with pinching, kicking and scratching. This was Jo's way of getting back at me for hurting her and her cousin. It was really dreadful.

"Jo, could you just stop for a second and take in the beauty of this city" I said as we entered the park. We walked to a bench opposite the now frozen river and we sat there together.

She smiled, "it is beautiful."

We sat quietly for a while watching the skating couples, just enjoying each other's company and the splendid night. The moment was just perfect.

"Jo, I've gotta tell you something" I said breaking the peaceful silence.

"Tell me anything" she said running her fingers through mine.

"Jo, you were right."

She sat up straight and looked at me more seriously. "Right about what?"

"About Sarah."

"What about her?" she asked as though she didn't care to know.

"You were right that my heart belonged to her. I figured it out when she came over to my place yesterday. We kissed and......"

********

JOAN:

He went on and on but I wasn't listening. I stopped listening the moment he mentioned his heart belonged to Sarah. Why was he telling me all this. Did he not get it? Did he not see how I loved him?

"Jacob, stop!" I interrupted.

"Em, is there a problem?" he asked.

"Yes, there is! What is wrong with you!?" He stared at me blankly. "Jacob listen" I continued, fighting back tears and rising from the bench, "go home and think carefully whether it's me or Sarah you want...."

I then turned around and walked away quickly struggling not to break down. He raced after me; "Sarah wait." I wiped away a tear before I turned and faced him. "My name is Joan!" I reminded him.

"Jo, I'm sorry. I didn't know. I thought all we had was friendship" he said. Now I knew how Sarah had felt when Jacob had told her of brotherly love. It felt more like rejection than anything. I could barely hold myself together.

"Jo, I'm also sorry cause what I told you is the truth. I've lied to you and Sarah, and myself in the past. And I'm not gonna do it anymore. I can't be more sure that I'm in love with Sarah. I can't pretend to know how much that hurts you, but it's the truth. I'm sorry."

That was all I could take. I broke down into tears. Jacob took me in his arms and though he was the source of my unbearable heartache, I didn't resist. I cried freely as he held me, telling me that I was so special and deserved someone better. But nothing he said could mend my broken heart.

★★★★★