The Noble Life

Sixteen

It all made for such a picturesque scene, and Catherine almost found herself wishing she had someone to share it with. Her thoughts then strayed to Bessie, and how much pleasure it would give her sister to paint such a view as this. But in order for Bessie to paint this picture, she would have to visit Somerset herself - and Catherine would not wish that upon her dearest sister. She did not even think she would wish it upon her worst enemy! For although it was a charming enough place, the complex social politics was enough to make Catherine's head spin. If this was country society, she dreaded to think how horrendous life in London must be!

No doubt it was full of Miss Russells, Catherine thought with a shudder. An entire society of foolish, flirtatious madams with their scheming mothers, along with despicable men undeserving of the land they inherited - some pouring their inheritance down their throats, others pretending only to be scientists with no interest in the topsy-turvy world of polite society...

Catherine's bottom lip began to tremble, as she finally allowed herself to think of the real reason she had stormed out of the house and all the way up into the Mendips: Professor Lawes, the man she had thought herself to be in love with. And as she opened her mind at last to the pain and sorrow, Catherine found the tears begin to fall once again, thicker and faster than ever before.

None of it made any sense! The way Professor Lawes had behaved the previous night, under the stars, truly made Catherine believe he might feel the same way as she did - but the conversation with Miss Russell now had Catherine doubting everything she had come to think about this man since returning to Barnbury. From what Miss Russell had said, it seemed the professor had indeed preferred the viscount's sister all along - and if that indeed was the case, Catherine felt she could not marry him now, with the knowledge that she had been second best.

There was, of course, the chance that Miss Russell was being untruthful in an attempt to upset Catherine in some way - but what could Miss Russell possibly have to gain in persuading Catherine against a union with Professor Lawes? Besides, Miss Russell herself had seemed genuinely upset when breaking the truth to Catherine - surely she could not be that accomplished an actress.

A nauseous feeling began to simmer inside Catherine's stomach as she thought back to the time she and Professor Lawes had spent alone together. All those intimate looks they had shared, the supposedly heartfelt story the professor had spun about his desire to be a decent family man - none of it had been real! Like a complete and utter fool, Catherine had swallowed it all, giving her heart to a man who had been doing nothing more than assessing multiple potential wives in a cold, calculated manner like the scientist he was.

Petty though it was, Catherine could not help but feel frustrated that it was Miss Russell who had been her rival, and Miss Russell who had ultimately been the professor's first choice, until circumstances out of her control changed that. No doubt Professor Lawes actually preferred Miss Russell's playing to Catherine's, too, only flattering Catherine because he knew it was what she wanted to hear. She should not be vexed with Miss Russell, really, for it was Professor Lawes who had behaved wrongly - but a small part of Catherine could not help feeling an intense dislike towards Miss Russell for being so accomplished, and beautiful, and attractive to men - everything Catherine wished she could be.

Catherine had always told herself that courting and marriage did not concern her in any way; she'd been adamant ever since she turned eighteen that she had no desire to involve herself in such matters for the time being. Having never been particularly involved in Warwick society, capturing the attention of eligible young gentlemen hadn't seemed of any importance - especially when marrying would mean removal from Donbroke, and leaving Bessie behind.

But then she had come to Barnbury, and found herself immersed in the lives of people such as Miss Russell, whose sole aim in life seemed to be securing a husband - or at least the outrageous way she flirted with any gentleman she met hinted at that. And then Catherine had met Professor Lawes - and as their acquaintance began to develop, she had found herself completely changing the way she thought about matters of sentimentality.