Chapter 17

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Edward held onto me tighter and kissed me harder. Our tongues collided and I couldn't help the moans that escaped from my mouth as he touched all over my body. The kiss was really nice until he broke away from me.
"Alex. I'm enjoying this, I really am...but I don't want to take advantage of you." Edward said nervously.

"You're not." I laughed, then tried pulling him into me once again.

Edward dipped away from me, "You're a bit drunk."

"I'm not drunk, Edward. Just a bit funny feeling." I replied, "Look. On the way over here I thought about what you said. I like you too, Ed."

"Do you mean that?" He asked, smiling.
Edward was beaming with happiness. He grabbed my hands in his and lightly rubbed his fingers over my knuckles.

I nodded to Edward, squeezing his hands, "I do. Liam made me mad, Ed. He's getting into-"

"Wait." Edward cut me off, dropping my hands from his, "You're here because Liam made you angry? You didn't come to see me?"

Shit. Alex, really?
I sighed deeply before shrugging my shoulders, "Well I mean... I left and then found myself coming here because I wanted to see you."

"I don't want to be your second choice, Alex. I don't want to be the guy you fall back on when things get rough with Liam. Although I love you, I'm not going to do that to myself. Now you can either tell me you love me and not Liam, or you can leave." Edward snapped.

I was taken back by how rude Edward was.
I couldn't just say I never loved Liam because I did...I still do. That's not true.
"I can't do that, Ed. You're asking a lot of me." I stammered.

"Then please go before you break my heart again." Edward said in almost a whisper.

My expression dropped immediately.
Fuck. He's right. I can't be bouncing back and fourth between them. I'm not in high school anymore.
I realized that I really needed to figure out my shit. I also realized that I was way too drunk to be having this kind of conversation.
"I'll let myself out then." I told Ed, then I stood up and began walking to the front door.

As I opened the door, I heard Edward call my name.
"Alex?"

I looked back at him, feeling upset, "Ed?"

"If you do change your mind. I'll be here." Edward smiled lightly, clearly hurting.

I nodded towards him without saying a word, then left.
- - -

When I returned home, Liam jumped up from the couch and practically ran towards me.
"Alex! Where have you been?!" He asked angrily, "I've been looking all over for you. You had me worried sick!"

I shrugged casually, "I left. I forgot we didn't have bread."

"Don't ever do that again without telling me." He told me, grabbing my hands. "I was so worried."

"Don't be. It's okay."
No. Everything is not okay. I fucking cheated on Liam.

"Are you alright?" Liam asked, studying me carefully, "You seem a bit...upset."

I shook my head, "No...Liam." I started, "I need to think about things."

Liam's eyebrows scrunched together in confusion, "Like?"

"Like...us. You know I love you, but there's some things I need to think about." I explained, "You and I both know we haven't been the same since we lost our baby."

Liam began to pace around the room anxiously.
"Did I do something wrong?" He asked.

"Well...no." I replied, "I just need time. Time to think. Time to be by myself. I never really have gotten that since...the baby."

"Time." He repeated. "Um. Okay. Should I stay somewhere else?"

"No. I will leave. I'll stay with my parents for a bit."
I didn't want to kick Liam out. That didn't seem right.

Liam frowned, "Okay."

I kissed his cheek and gave him a hug, "I'm sorry, Liam. I'll pack my things and will leave in the morning."
Then I headed off towards our bedroom and began collecting everything into my suitcase.

It was true. Things haven't been the same since I lost our baby. I feel disconnected from Liam. I feel lost. I need time to heal. Maybe time alone will help me clear my head.

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(A/N:)
Short chapter I know! These next one will be short. I want to end the book at chapter 20. (I need even numbers I'm weird I know)

-Bree
XOXO

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