Should I Stay?

Doubt

PHIL POV~

The light that was streaming in through the gaps in my curtains woke me up, and when I looked over to my alarm clock I saw that it was only 8. I lay, staring at the ceiling, thinking over the dream I'd had the night before. Dan had said he loved me. Why did I have to wake up?

I noticed a crack in the ceiling that I hadn't noticed before and it really started to bug me. It was thin and wispy, and was only a few centimetres long and why was I staring at a crack?

I heard a rustling behind me and turned around and came face to face with a sleeping Dan.

Why was he in my bed?

It wasn't a dream.

I felt a huge grin spread across my face, and I stroked the hair off his forehead.

That actually happened. Wow.

Dan's eyelids fluttered open, and confusion flickered across his eyes. He sat up suddenly.

I could see the realisation settle in his face, and he mirrored my grin, lying back down and pulling me into him so we were spooning. I sighed contently and wrapped his arm around me, settling back into the sheets.

DAN POV~

At around 10 I decided we should probably get up, so I pulled Phil out of bed and dragged him into the kitchen, shoving a bowl of cereal in his face.

He looked so adorable, with messy hair and droopy eyes. Yawning, he ran a hand through his fringe, and I couldn't resist. I lent over and kissed him. We both had morning breath but neither of us cared, and we continued to kiss until we had to pull back for breath. I looked down shyly, suddenly embarrassed and worried. What if he'd changed his mind since last night?

But he just grinned at me. We'd managed not to utter a single word to each other that morning, just communicating via facial expressions.

As Phil went into his room to get dressed I remembered about America. He said that the reason he was leaving was because of me, but now... were we in a relationship? Anyways, would he stay or decide to go regardless. It was a fantastic opportunity and if I were not a selfish person I'd tell him to go and do it. But... I was and I couldn't face the thought of him leaving.

He came out of his room wearing a light blue shirt he hadn't worn in ages, and I couldn't believe that, even if just for the moment, he was mine. He entered the living room and sat down next to me, curling up and resting his head on my shoulder.

"Phil," I whispered, in a way hoping he didn't hear me. "What's happening about America?"

He looked up at me, his eyes full of sadness. "Well, um, it's such a good opportunity and I think I might still go," he said quickly, avoiding eye contact.

"Oh, ok," I choked out, feeling a lump rise in my throat.

"I was going to post that video today." He coughed.

"Yeh, good idea. When's the flight again?" I blinked, trying to hold back tears.

"On Thursday."

"But that's only two days. I thought you said that it was on Saturday?"

"They moved the flight because they have to repair a part of the runway or something I think," he muttered. "Hang on, just let me get my laptop."

I tried to breathe and not cry, because he was going to come back in.

He ran back in and jumped on the sofa, tucking his legs underneath him.

He pulled up the video and loaded it onto YouTube. His cursor hovered over the upload button. He took a deep breath and clicked it, watching the video upload onto the Internet for everyone to see. He shut his laptop and looked at me, tears flooding his eyes, and as mine began to water he started to sob, which set me off too.

He flung himself into my arms and cried, his tears wetting my shirt.

I couldn't believe that he had just done that. He couldn't back out after telling the fans.

PHIL POV~

Dan had fallen asleep, so I slowly lifted his arm and slid out from his embrace, sliding my laptop off into my hand as I walked past. I flipped open the screen and watched the comments flood in at such enormous speed I didn't have time to read any before they were pushed off the screen by more incoming ones.

NOOOOOO PHIL U CANT DO THIS TO US :(((((((((was pretty much the gist of all of them, and each comment made me feel more and more and more sick and suddenly it became overwhelming and I ran to the toilet, just reaching it in time.

I wandered back into my room and sat down shakily. Everyone knew now. And maybe, just maybe, I had made the wrong decision. My reason for leaving had now gone... so did I really need to leave?