Ghost Bird Fanfiction: Sang's Lyric, The Story of Sang Sorenson's Mother

Haze

Taylor and I spent the entire afternoon in bed until my stomach began to growl and he laughed and pulled me upright. My head swam for a moment at the change in position, and he knelt in front of me. "Got it?"

"I'm good," I answered.

I felt shy for a moment; my body on display for him, but he gave me a look of such heat that I stopped trying to cover myself and got dressed like a normal person. He took my hand, leading me down the stairs.

I got a huge glass of water, parched suddenly, and drank it. The water dribbled out the sides of my mouth and I pulled the glass away quickly, wiping my mouth with my hand. I saw Taylor watching me curiously and I blushed. "Sorry." 


He shook his head. "No," he answered. "I feel bad. I should have brought you down before this."


"Nuh-uh," I corrected. "I didn't want to move before this." 
I opened the fridge and pulled out sandwich fixings. All of a sudden, I was ravenously hungry and absolutely nothing looked appealing.

I wanted fluff and peanut butter. I dropped the cold cuts and bread on the counter and checked the pantry. There was peanut butter but no fluff.

I wanted to cry.

I kept looking; hoping that I had somehow missed it.

Taylor put his hands on my shoulders. "What are you looking for?"

"Fluff," I sniffled.

He gently turned me around, bending at the knees so he could look into my face. "Are you..." his eyebrows drew together and his mouth turned down. "Are you crying about fluff?"

 
"No," I scoffed, looking over my shoulder longingly at the pantry. "Do we have any?"


"I don't think so," he answered.

The euphoria I had felt earlier drained away, leaving only disappointment. I was shocked and horrified at myself when a sob wracked my body.

I heard footsteps and then, "What the hell happened?"

"I don't know!" Taylor said, his voice high and upset. "She was looking for fluff and then started to cry!"

"Crash," he said, trying to lift my chin, but I shook my head and buried my face in my hands. "Lyric. Lyric. Look at me. Please?"


I felt a new set of hands on my shoulders and then James enfolded me in his arms. "Lyric," he asked, "What's wrong? What's going on?"


I shook my head.

"Nothing happened, Tay?" James asked.

James sounded accusative, but I didn't want him blaming Taylor for my sudden trip to crazy town.

"It's not Taylor," I gasped between wails. "I just... I really wanted peanut butter and fluff and there's no fluff!"

As the words left my mouth, I heard the absurdity of it, and my wails turned into guffaws. James and Taylor looked stymied.

"I'm sorry, guys," I apologized. "I'm really sorry."


"No," Taylor said, running his hand through his hair nervously and looking over at James. "No. It's fine. You really wanted fluff. And you were disappointed. Because of the no fluff. And so you cried. Because... we had... no... fluff..." His voice trailed off slowly.

I nodded. Taylor understood, that was all I needed.

I saw him reach into his pocket to pull out his phone. "I'm telling Kell to bring home fluff," he told me, "Is that okay? Can you have something else in the meantime?"

I nodded, wiping my eyes and stepping away from James. I scoured the pantry. There was nothing that I wanted.

Except.

I shoved aside the cans of soup and beans, and there, in small plastic bags, was ramen.

"Oh thank god," I said, and ripped open the bag.


I just wanted the crunchy starchiness of the ramen, and when I saw the can of chocolate frosting, I was suddenly in heaven. I grabbed the can and the ramen, and went to the counter where Taylor had begun to make us sandwiches. I broke the ramen into pieces and peeled off the paper covering the frosting, dipping the noddles inside and then popping it into my mouth.

Oh my god. Heaven.

I finished off the entire package, and went back to the pantry.

"I swear to god," I mumbled, "there better..." 


"Here," James said, reaching in front of me and plucking the last package of ramen from the shelf.

I took it greedily. "Thanks," I said, pressing a quick kiss to James' cheek before sitting in front of my frosting again.

I broke apart the noddles and dipped it into the frosting, but just as I was about to pop it into my mouth, I stopped. I looked at the frosting-covered noodles. I smelled the chocolate. Nothing about it smelled good anymore. Nothing about it tasted good, and I needed to get the film of chocolate out of my mouth. My stomach heaved and I ran to the sink, filling up my glass and drinking the water as quickly as I could. I stood for a moment, breathing deeply.

"Lyric," James said. "Baby. You're so pale. What's wrong?" 


I held up a hand, afraid if I opened my mouth, I would throw up all over the kitchen.

"I..." I started when I thought I had it under control.

My stomach contracted. Nope.

I turned and ran, making it into the bathroom and lifting the lid with no time to spare. I closed my eyes as I emptied the contents of my stomach. It seemed to go on and on, until there was nothing left. A cool washcloth pressed against my forehead and a hand rubbed my back. I reached up, flushing the toilet quickly and closing the seat. The cloth covered my face, cooling down my overheated cheeks.

"Ugh," I said, opening my eyes to see James, Taylor, and Kell crowding into the bathroom.

"What was that?" James asked me, moving beside me and rubbing my back.

"I don't..." I stopped as a memory, one I had buried deep inside my brain shuffled to the surface.

My mother. Dipping ramen into ranch dressing, into spaghetti sauce, into a bowl of buffalo sauce, eating it like it was going out of style. She had been pregnant.

My hand covered my mouth and I shut my eyes.

It was impossible.

I counted back in my head. They had given me the morning-after pill. That was like, ninety-seven percent effective.

"Eighty-nine percent," Kell whispered, and I opened my eyes, not realizing I had spoken aloud.

"It's eighty-nine percent effective, Priya," he told me.

I saw the realization dawn on their faces. Taylor's eyes widened and he ran his hand through his hair, turning around and pressing his palms against the wall.

"One fucking day," he whispered, shaking his head. "I can't even have one fucking day."

He pushed back suddenly, his arm a blur as he punched the wall.

"Taylor." James' voice was cold, commanding.

His voice matched his face; he looked like he was made of ice.

"I'm sure it's nothing," James told me, his lips barely moving as he spoke. "Just a bug. We'll get a test. It's..." He shook his head, his eyes moving so he wasn't quite looking at me. "It's impossible." 


Kell kneeled next to me, reaching out a hand and pulling me into his arms. He wrapped me up tight. "It's okay, Priya," he said. "Whatever it is. We are together. We are fine. We will still be fine. No matter what." 


I nodded my head, but I knew. I was going to have a baby.