blue neighborhood ➸ a camren one shot

blue neighborhood

TRIGGER WARNING: This story deals with alcoholism.

Camila Cabello was twelve years old when she decided she wanted to marry Lauren Jauregui. She just looked at her and knew she'd want to spend her life with her best friend.

They were running on the beach while Lauren's dad and Camila's parents were drinking beer and laughing.

The two girls' parents met in high school, so Camila and Lauren had known each other since they were born. Lauren's mom died when Lauren was nine years old and since then her father had started drinking a lot. He became a mean, sad, irritable, tired and very angry man. Lauren used to wonder who he was angry at. Most of the time she thought he was angry at her but later she realized he was just angry at life. He did have his good days. He would buy Lauren ice cream and they would paint the tree house he built for her, laughing until it hurt. He was Lauren's hero and the most important person in her life. That would never change.

That day at the beach seemed perfect. Camila and Lauren spent the day running on the sand and going on adventures. Lauren's father had drunk a few beers too many, and he started screaming at his daughter and her best friend because they were holding hands. Lauren quickly let go of Camila's hand and left with her dad, trying to get him to calm down. That's when she realized she could never be her true self.

***

The next years passed. Camila and Lauren grew up, still spending all of their time together. They started wearing makeup and got their period. They kissed for the first time when they were fifteen years old, hiding behind a creepy building.

They spend the next years holding hands under blankets and pillows. They stole kisses from each other whenever they could, always hiding behind trees or their school late at night, where no one could see them, Camila's back hitting the cold brick wall. Camila told Lauren she loved her when they were sixteen. She whispered it in her ear when they were laying on Lauren's bed, looking at the stars that glow in the darkon her ceiling. Lauren just kissed her until their lips were sore, afraid that her father would somehow find out if she said it back.

***

Everything changed the year of their seventeenth birthday. They were in Lauren's room, on a Friday afternoon when her dad was working.

Nails were scratching backs, tongues and lips and hands were everywhere, limbs were tangled up in the bed sheets and clothes were slowly being thrown on the floor when the door opened to reveal Lauren's enraged father.

It all went so quickly that it's a blur in Camila's mind.

Lauren's dad started screaming horrible things and next thing she knew Camila was being forced out of the house by Lauren, who was bearing a look on her face that was at the same time apologetic and terrified.

Camila stayed up all night crying and tried to call Lauren until her voicemail was full.

Lauren was at school the next day. She completely ignored Camila. Camila tried to talk to Lauren several times in the year that followed, but each time, she told her to go away with an aching look in her eyes.

Camila's world was torn apart when she saw Lauren holding a guy's hand on her way to school. She had to witness Lauren and her boyfriend making out in front of everyone. He didn't need to hide behind a tree or a building to kiss Lauren.

Beautiful, broken Lauren.

***

Lauren's dad died the year of her nineteenth birthday. He was drunk, he took the wheel, and just like that; he died.

Camila was standing on the opposite side of where Lauren was standing at the funeral. It was a cloudy day, like in the movies. Everyone was wearing black and you could see their shoulders shaking from the sadness. Lauren kept an emotionless face the entire time. She did not shed a single tear. She looked empty. Her boyfriend reached for her hand but she crossed her arms. Camila knew that the fact that Lauren wasn't showing any emotion was way worse than if she would've been crying. All she wanted to do was hold her in her arms and tell her everything would be okay. She wanted to spend her life making sure Lauren would be happy one day. She wanted to hold her hand and make her feel safe. But she couldn't. Camila couldn't stand being powerless to Lauren's pain, so instead of trying to talk to her again when the ceremony ended, she left and sat on a bench in the cemetery, holding her head in her hands, trying to figure out why everything went wrong.

She felt a tap on her shoulder and turned around to see Lauren. The two girls just stared into each other's eyes until Lauren finally started crying. The ugly, heartbreaking kind of crying. Lauren reached for Camila and the girl let her cry on her shoulder, holding on to her tightly, trying to hold the pieces of her heart together.