After All

Maine [1]

Maine

"Are you sure?" I said while suppressing the tears that about to fall in my eyes.

"Yes, let's break up" Alden said without breaking his gaze into my eyes.

I don't see any emotions through his eyes;
those eyes that would show me how much he loves me, how much I mean the world to him, and now those look were gone.

"But Why?.. I don't understand" I choked up, feeling the big lump formed in my throat.

"I'm just tired of everything, Maine. I don't know"

This was the first time he break up with me, I'm usually the one who broke up with him, and he just beg me not to and sort the things out,

but now.

I'm loss for words, I was gaping at him while he said those words, that was it. He was already tired.

Just like that.

"We kept chasing each other even from the start, and we both know our relationship were going to nowhere. I'm just tired of all the fights, of the chasing, this push and pull.
I'm just... tired, Meng."

I stared at him stiffened on my spot. Unable to move.
I know our relationship was not good from the very start,
but we've already reached this stage where we could have already know what to do,
because we've been in this situation before, and we managed to be strong and surpassed the problems we had.

Why give up now?
When I'm ready to give what you want.

I couldn't hold my tears anymore and it suddenly poured like a rain in my eyes.

It breaks my heart to hear those words from him,
It felt like he gripped my heart so hard that I couldn't find my breathe from too much pain.

"Is this what you really want? why just now Alden?" I hardly said, tears keep falling on my eyes.

He also look miserable.

"Yes, let's end this" he turned his back on me after saying those excruciating words.
I never thought this kind of pain exists.
I never thought he'll end us like this.

I put my courage together, the pain in my heart was just too much to handle.
I was hurting at this moment that I want to throw everything at him, I want to slam his head and put some senses onto him.
I calm myself and grip the back of his shirt and slowly smile.

"Okay, if this is what you want, I'll warn you though.
Don't come on my door and beg for me wanting to be back again.
I know I've been a bad girlfriend to you, but you already know that I love you the most.
I'll let you go because you want me to, not because I want too.
If this would make you happy, then you are free"
I brokenly said tears wont stop in me. I choked up a sob when he started to walk away without looking at me. I broke out into a loud cries when he was out of my sight.
My vision of him wasn't clear because of tears.

And just like that, he was tired to wait for me.

--
When we became a couple both our families were against us. At first they didn't like us to be together, but time passes by both families have come to accept us, after they witnessed our hardship just to be with each other soften their hearts.

When we were in our third year relationship we started to have a serious fights, little fights turned to big fight. I've been breaking up with him all the time we fight. He was very patient to woo me all the time.
We were both very aware that having fights is inevitable, and now in our seventh year relationship he decided to give up.

I thought we're already used to it. I thought this was just our normal fight slash break up situation but no. I was so wrong.

I let him go, because that was he really wants.
I let him go without fighting for him.
And I just let him go slip on my world.

I guess even the strongest person in the world would've surrendered and give up when he couldn't handle the pain.

--