You say it disheartens you to see me revel in depressing thoughts and engulfed in a cloud of smoke from the cigarettes whose butts I have been burning on the ashtray. But do you wonder about what led me to the brink of treating myself so poorly?
Do you wonder that I'm proud of the fact that I'm killing myself, although slowly but myself nonetheless and not casting it onto someone else's rough, callused palm because I'd rather not hand you the dagger and watch you tear my heart, piece by piece, night after night, slowly and watch you throw it far away. Im weak, timid and naive you say. What you don't know is I'm determined, persistent and blessed with a brave heart. I'd rather let my own demons win over my sporadic self than watch yours burn me to grey. Im fierce and nothing that you will ever say. //ndcb
