fragments → garmau • mcd au

[28] secrets • pt. 2

So a lot of you got quite confused in the previous chapter, whether Aphmau was upset since in her diary said that she wishes Garroth would read her diary. She did get upset; mostly because Garroth was invading her privacy.

By the way, you'll most likely definitely need the things I listed in the previous chapter.

Good luck!

•••

"A-A-A-Aphmau, I-I can explain." I immediately jump to my feet and I can feel my hands trembling. She has tears in her eyes and I want to look away but I can't.

"Garroth, how could you?" She says with a shaky voice, and I feel a wave of ultimate guilt washing over me.

"I-I-I just saw the key, a-a-and I- it was so-"

"Save it, get out of my room." She has tears slowly streaming down her cheeks, and I reach out to wipe them away but she whacks my hand away.

"Get out Garroth." She commands, and I feel hot tears streaming down my face as well. I look down at the floor as I walk past her and out the door. My vision is blurred by my tears and my glasses had tear droplets on them. My body was trembling in fear;

in fear that I just lost my love.

•••

I lean against the tree's rough bark, and I reach up to my collar bone, where the beautiful necklace she gave me lay.

I slide down onto the grass and bury my head between my knees, wrapping my arms around my legs to bring them closer.

"Don't do that, it just makes it worse."

What's even the point now?

An endless stream of tears begin falling down my cheeks, staining my face with pure hurt and tears. All the past memories; the past month or two I've known this beautiful girl. I think about how much she's changed me, how deep I've fallen in love with her, and it feels like an endless death cycle on repeat.

I look up and the world is a blur, a mix of colours and disorientation; even with my glasses on. I shake my head, the tears still flowing and the hyperventilation not stopping.

I stand up, though my knees feel like they may give out any second. I turn around and face the tree I was leaning on, and the tears just fall heavier.

I slowly trace each letter, precisely carved out to perfection.

"The Garmau Tree".

"If one of us feels lonely and the other isn't around, we can always come here because this is our shared tree."

I scratch my head in frustration with both hands, the scar slowly peeling open. I feel a liquid on my hands and there's slight blood from the scar, but I didn't care.

I want to hold her in my arms.

I want to see the beautiful sparkle in those stunning hazel eyes.

I want to feel her comforting warmth.

But I had to ruin it all, because that's all I do.

Ruin everything.

I start running, and it starts storming. I get drenched within minutes, but I didn't particularly care. I just ran.

I don't know where I'm running to, or when I'm going to stop running,

I just run.

•••

I find myself sitting on damp grass in Aphmau's hidden area.

Still crying.

I take off my glasses to wipe away my tears, and I briefly see myself in the reflection. My eyes were back to matte and discoloured, not a single sparkle left.

I knew it wasn't true.

It was too good to be true.

I shake my head. It's still raining and my sandy blonde hair is now darker than it usual is, with a few blood stains from the slight bleed of the scar.

I remember when I slept with her close to me on this grass patch. It was amazing.

Will that ever happen again? Now that I've messed everything up.

I put my glasses back on, the rain still falling heavily, like bullets on my back. I curl up into my previous position, wrapping my knees close to my body. Not an inch of heat.

I'm trembling, both in fear and temperature. I push a hand through my wet hair, my shirt and jeans drenched.

I feel sudden rage within me, and I begin yelling.

Why do I have to ruin everything I do?

My tears were not just out of fear and pity, it was a mix of that and anger.

I pulled at my hair and exhaled, falling back onto the wet grass and feeling like nothing; numb.

Just be nothing, you won't get hurt in this cruel world.

I closed my eyes, the fast droplets of heavy rain pelting down onto my body. My shirt was two times a darker shade, and my jeans were itchy and uncomfortable.

I kept my eyes closed, in hope that I could just disappear. Like all the mistakes I've made, all the pain I've caused never happened.

I suddenly hear squelchy footsteps, trampling in slight mud as if it was a struggle. I slowly get up, and low and behold.

She stands there with an umbrella, looking absolutely terrified. Her eyes are red from crying.

My heart twists in such a way that I have to look away from the scene.

Thunder booms out in the mix of the storm, and she screams in fear.

"What's your fear?"

"I don't like thunder."

I've been so selfish.

So Irene forsaken selfish.

So despite me being wet and filthy, and she standing between trees in a vulnerable state in clean clothes; I do one thing.

One thing that makes my heart race thinking about it;

one thing that makes my stomach filled with butterfiles;

one thing that I never thought I would ever do.

I get up from the ground and run up to her, my arms wrapping around her waist.

I pull her close;

and smash my lips into her's.