Lily Rose Styles

FINAL CHAPTER

I am here, with a broken heart, that only I could save. I now see every purpose my life has ever made. I guess I was broken and lost but I was not afraid. Because now I'm rising above the stars with a smile on my face. I'll take every opportunity that comes my way even if it never works. I'll work hard and play the games, even if no one else can help. But as long as I'm happy, I know I'll be free. Because my awful mind you see, It plays tricks onto me when I'm asleep. It sends big waves; of emotion. But now, a tsunami I shall be, much stronger and bigger than the demons in me.

Because I'm a fighter. A strong, cold blooded fighter!

This sad cloud can keep raining over me, but I'll be happy, because I know the stars are just above me.

Everything will be fine. Everything in my life will be okay. I honestly feel so guilty for every bad action I've done. And even though some people weren't the nicest to me, I can now put that beside me and forgive them. Because I am ready to.

Many people still don't know my story. I don't think I want them to. I don't want anyone to know. It's something I don't want to talk about. Think about. Or even waste time on.

I came here today to think mostly today. Because honestly; being depressed is not something I would want to be all my life. When you fought for so long, you either give up; or you find this new strength inside you. This unexplainable feeling that makes you want to win.

Memories will stain your head, your story will be written on your skin. But the beauty of it is; only you can read the marks. People can stare, but they wont understand. Maybe no one will; but when you accept yourself and your past; you'll be proud of what you have fought. Because I would want to be a survivor; I want to come back. I want the real Lily to finally come home.

The one who has gone missing years ago.  It's time to win.

It's time to put everything in the past.
To smile and be happy.
To live.

No one needs to know what I've been through. No one probably will know. And that's fine with me. Because as long as I know I've survived, I'll be finally as peace with myself.

It took me years to realize this; but it really does get better. The voices quiet down, the sadness slowly fades, and that's when the light fills your body. You feel happy.

I'll soon be happy.

***

Right now I'm slowly walking back home, each foot closer makes me relieved. I want a new beginning and I'll get it as soon I step into the house. It's time to start a new chapter. This one needs to be closed.

It's 3:30pm meaning school ended 10 minutes ago. Which is why I'm walking home now so no one suspects I've actually skipped school and had hours of thinking time to myself.

It's really crazy. To be honest. But there is no need in holding grudges. I'll put up with everything; because I want to be happy. Truly happy.

I took a deep breath. Standing in front of my front door. I'm setting myself a big challenge but I'm ready to fulfil it. In the end it was all a crazy journey. It was just a tiny part of my life. I have so many more to come.

I reached for the handle; feeling it's rusty cold metal touch my fingertips. I let out a breath whilst I gripped the handle and let out a breath. Slowly but surely opening the door. Being welcomed by silence.

I furrowed my eyebrows as I stepped inside and closed the door.

Why is it so quiet?
I ask myself.

I walk into the living room once slipping off my shoes, to find no one there.

"Hello?" I shout whilst walking into the kitchen.