The Queer Sheep Of The Family(teen lesbian)

Torn between God and my Sexuality

Are you okay? Mum asked

Yes mum! I answered fearing that my mum noticed I had been absent minded through out the service.

My mum is a psychologist and she kind of reads people's minds or so I thought. Because all my life, I've always gotten this "you know you can't lie to me" kind of looks from her!

I went up straight into my room, immediately I turned the knob and closed the door behind me. The picture of what had transpired between Alexis and I found its way into my mind. Like it just happened minutes back. I noticed I had my finger on my lip as those thought swam to and fro my mind!

I packed up a few notebooks, the volumnous ones alone, biology, history, and Economics. I didn't want to forget them.I ran a quick shower and tried not to focus on Alexis after all she is really cute and then people will soon start flocking around her. I saw no reason why that should be a problem to me but it simply made me jealous. I brushed off the thought.

And soon I was asleep.

"Maggie! Get out from that room this minute or you are going to walk to school.. Mum yelled.

"Oh my God! Its 7:15 already, I grudgingly got up from bed and washed up, I was late already so I decided I was going to skip breakfast.

"Morning mum" I said as I walked past her to the car.

I didn't get the response immediately so I turned back to see my mum staring at me.

"Something is up with you young lady and you are telling me all of it" mum said in her 'no questions' tone.

My heart was raced.. I think it stopped functioning for a second!

I started replaying what had happened since I first saw alexis,

Had my mum noticed? What was I going to tell her?.. I asked myself.

Is that clear? Maggie! Mum yelled in the same tone.

Yeah mum I replied still wasn't sure what to tell her.

I got into the car and closed the door! I have never known confusion like this before. I have never lied to my mum. But the ground would rather open up and swallow me instead of telling her the truth.

What do I  even know I will tell her! I thought as she pulled out of the garage and unto the street.

"That I got kissed by a girl and for some strange reasons I loved it? Or that I think I might be a lesbian!.

Oh no I can't do that. I thought. Unconsciously shaking my head.

I looked at mum who was looking out of the window. Grateful that she hadn't brought the issue of me telling her what is bothering me. I got out my Ipod and couldn't play any gospel song which was sort of a tradition for me. I felt God will just strike me with thunder. So I just settled for "born this way by lady gaga.

I remembered the seminar I attended last christmas with my brothers. It was organised by the catholic youths. In one of the lectures a priest talked on homosexuality and how it is a taboo to both God and man. How anybody who engages in same sex relationships are possessed and that they are also candidates to hell.

I was so scared, I didn't want to go to hell, I didn't want to displease God either. I fought back the tear that was threatening to rain down from my eyes.

Mum stopped in front of the school and gave me a hug, that had gotten me startled because it was longer than our usual mother and daughter hug!.

"Take care" she said as she pulled away from me.

"I will mum. I love you. I said

As I walked into the main door, I noticed my mum didn't drive off immediately. I could only wonder why!.

I entered the class and met alexis smiling at me, I gave her one of my over used smiles.

"Hey! Alexis said giving me that smile that gets me flustered.

Heyy! I replied unpacking my books into my desk.(It has a locker attatched to it).

"Don't tell me you forgot the books. She asked giving me a stern look.

" Here! Have these ones. I said as I handed her the note books and watch as her eyes lit in excitement.

"Yay! I just knew I could count on you mag! She said ruffling my hair,

"Do not mess up my hairn miss! That was a lot of work. I joked

Wait a minute! Did she just call me mag!? Can this girl stop being so cute already!!! I thought as a smile escaped my lips.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~Mum's POV~~~~~~~~~

Something is just wrong with maggie! She hasn't been herself lately and that is so unlike her! She has always been discreet but I have always managed to break her. She as always been my little baby. But I can't seem to get what the problem is.

For some strange reason, I want her to be friends with alexis, that young girl is so vibrant and full of life. I'm sure she will be able to push maggie out of her shell.

But the awkward manner they looked at each other while eating and during the service. I don't know why this should bother me but then It just did.

"Here's a call from Chairman for you ma'm" alice my secretary said handing me the phone.
"Very well sir" I replied as I hurried to to my boss's office.

*****