"Touch me, Manolo" she begged me. She held my hand and put it on her right cheek. But I don't know what to do. I have never been with a woman before.
"I uhm.."
"I know you're not attracted to me.." she faked a smile trying to cover her pain. "I'm sorry Manolo. I knew I didn't had the chance pero heto ako..." She kissed my palm. Move stupid. You're hurting her. But no matter how hard I try I really didn't know what to do. Maybe this is the reason why my brothers keep teasing me.
She sighed and rubbed her cheek againts the palm of my hand. Hindi talaga ako makagalaw. I just stood there and stared at her. "I know I am not beautiful. Seven years old palang tayo alam ko na na hindi ako yung magugustuhan mo. It was alway Ali. Siya laging pinapakasalan mo pag naglalaro tayo ng kasal-kasalan dati. I'll always end up watching you marrying her"
Napatanga ako. Why? How? Bakit ganito ang nararamdaman ko. Parang may sumipa sa sikmira ko at may sumapak sakin bigla pero di ako makagalaw.
"I have always longed for your touch, for your love" She looked me in the eyes. She smiled as if assuring me that she was okay. "Akala ko kontento akong nakatingin lang sa malayo. Na makokontento akong nakikita lang kitang masaya ng wala ako pero hindi na kasi. Gusto kong maging parte ng kaligayahan mo. Gusto kong matawag na kabiyak mo" She held my hand tighter as if it was her lifeline.
"But I knew I was not good enough. You wanted to marry a princess. I was not one, not even close." She closed her eyes.
"I love you Manolo. That's all there is to me. It is my love for you. Ikaw nalang yung meron ako but I know that the feeling is not mutual amd would never be but thank you. You're the reason why I am still here. You're the only one worth living for. But now that it is clear na wala akong chance kasi wala naman akong binatbat kahit man lang sa kuku ng mga babaeng nagugustuhan mo.. hindi ko na alam kung para saan pa ang mabuhay.."
Inangat niya ang kamay niya at inidantay yun sa pisngi ko. "Mamimiss kita"
She kissed my lips. I was about to push her but she held me tight. "Just this once Manolo.. My sweet innocent Manolo.. just this once" I closed my eyes as she claimed my lips. Nanginginig siya. I thought She would move her lips but she didn't she moved away from me and wiped my lips. "I'm sorry. Nakakadiri na ba? Breath Manolo" at biglang kumawala ang hangin na kanina ko pa pala pinipigil. Hinaplos niya ang batok ko.
"Marya.."
"Ssshh.." she put a finger on my lip. "Stop Manolo or I'll die"
---
Fuck I want to cry :/
