"Behind my back." His eyes faltering a little, turned darker, yet he kept his stance strong and defensive.
"I told you, I had no choice." Slowly, my words started coming back to me, my head starting to clear. "Oh no." I shook my head in warning...
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Today.
Today is the day. Today will mark the day of my engagement. Today, I will be categorized as a different person. I will no longer be single, I will be bearing someone's relation with me.
I will be withheld by new relations. I will be bounded by someone's trust, someone's faith.
I was scared. There was no other way to describe it. I was completely, and utterly scared.
My ring finger would no longer be bare; it would hold someone's ring. The ring would signify a new relation, a new boundary, a new family.
But I didn't know which side of the coin to look at.
The new boundary or the new relation? Which one should I focus on now? And, in all honesty, which one will help me understand this.. This new situation? I would be spending my entire life with a man of mysteries. His reaction a few nights before scared me. How was I supposed to live with a man that doesn't express himself, only changing emotions in seconds?
All I knew was that my future withheld many, many colorful surprises. Before I knew it, we were setting off into the car, a long journey to the suburban Chicago where Rehan and his family lived.
My jittery thoughts felt the need to exercise even more and continued to mess with my head. When we finally got to the home, I was shaken. It was a large suburban home and it was wonderfully decorated. Elegant and beautiful.
Aunty came to us and said Salam, letting us into her home and family. After the pleasantries, she sent me to a room where I was to wait and get ready until they called me down where we would go to the venue hall. I played on my phone until it was time to get ready.
My thoughts were shaken as Ammi came into the room with a teary smile. "Beta, here's your engagement dress. Wear it quickly and get ready, we must get downstairs soon. It's quite light for an engagement, but whatever."
The dress felt like it had rocks instead of rhinestones. And it was beautiful, quite, NOT light even for a bride on her wedding day. If this was the engagement, I didn't know what to expect for the wedding.
I quickly wore the dress and did smoky eyes with loose waves for my hair. The engagement was to be separated for men and women. I didn't have to worry about wearing my scarf.
I was taken downstairs a few minutes later and was sat on a cream colored sofa, in the middle of a huge hall. It was decorated beautifully with white roses, tulips and lilies. The girls came over and started gushing over my dress and started introducing themselves to me, while some, known as my friends, were gushing about how pretty I looked. I smiled at all of them, they were nice people.
Friends complimented on the colored theme and suddenly everyone was off on their phones, taking pictures and moving me around to get the nicest backgrounds to take pictures and make memories.
Aunties also came up to me and introduced themselves, and asked me a lot of questions. I smiled and shied away as I tried to answer their questions.
Then, the time came when Rehan had to come in. He was blindfolded.
Literally.
He had a blindfold on his eyes and his mom was leading him in, as I was looking down. I took the time and finally look at him, and my breathing labored.
My God, was he looked nice.
As if a Vogue model, he walked elegantly even with his eyes blindfolded. Tabassum Aunty had her arm on his and was walking in with him. Wearing a silver tie and white shirt, he had a black blazer to complete the look.
A little girl in a mint green dress was smiling at me, her brown eyes widening at the sight of me. She, on the other hand, was holding on to Rehan's hand and was leading him.
I smiled at the sight and gushed. They looked adorable.
Fatima whispered into my ears, "In a few years, he will be holding Sajal and your daughter's hands." My cheeks tinged red, as I tried to block the image of two little girls holding Rehan's hand.
Sajal was his sister's daughter, Aunty had told me.
As if sensing my stare, Rehan's lips quirked and he let out a small smile. Goosebumps rose on my body as I saw his smile once again. Butterflies roamed in my stomach as I smiled back and looked down to my hands.
My green dupatta was fixed again so that my face was covered by a thin veil. My hair pushed back a little. Only my diamond and emerald jewelry was to be seen, along with my face.
Rehan walked on the stage with Sajal and I cooed at the cutie pie, trying to look away from Rehan.
Aunty helped him sit next to me and my heart skipped a beat as he accidentally brushed his elbow against mine. My brain muttered Astaghfirullahs and obscenities to my heart for acting like a teenager that saw her crush at the mall. As he set his hand on his lap, I saw that it was slightly trembling.
He was nervous. I blushed.
And then finally, his blindfold was taken off and his sea green eyes were on mine. I couldn't help but notice that his eyes were matching to my dress and the overall theme.
I couldn't find it in me to move my eyes away, and I stared at the man I had seen so much with.
When his nephew was in surgery, he was breaking, I saw him then. When he came to my house, I saw his genuineness. When I saw him at Starbucks, I saw his anger. And today, I see his happiness.
And now, after our relation was about to be fixed, officially, I felt excitement coursing through me as I realized that I would see every phase that this man would go through, with me. We would go through everything together, finding our way through the chaotic webs of life.
A smile lit up my face as I realized the ups and downs we might see together, my eyes still focusing on my henna clad hands. And soon the time came when we exchanged rings. My ring was beautifully designed with a square shaped diamond which was surrounded by smaller diamonds. Aunty came over to me and held my hand as she held it to the camera and slid the ring onto my finger. Ammi did the same for Rehan, and we were officially engaged.
Alhamdulillah.
The rest of the engagement went on without any hassles and I smiled, occasionally replying (and blushing) to Rehan's small talk. The Biryani was amazing, as usual and our chocolate ice cream cake was absolutely delicious. Pictures were clicked, poses were taken into stance and smiles were genuinely planted on our faces.
