Creeps

10.7K 669 549
                                    

Please, just look up the Radiohead song of the same name (i.e. Creep). It's like the only song I've related to on a primal level.

1. So the waitress is always a slut. Always. It's like to be hired you have to rip out the top buttons on all of your blouses or something. Seriously. I mean I could go on about this for days but I'd just be repeating the same thing. I have yet to meet a waitress to act in such a wanton manner. I'm sure they exist, but I just wanted to use the word "wanton".
But seriously, can we not have a nice girl who smiles cheerfully before bounding away with her ponytail swishing? Or better yet, an acne ridden teenage boy.

2. There's always that creep at the party that won't take no for an answer, even in real life. But what bothers me is that our Prota is the only one to get bothered by him! There are supposedly dozens of willing girls at the party (waitresses need to let loose too you know) yet our creep picks the Miss Gonist just in time for the main guy to swoop in. You'd swear it was made up or something.

3. The teachers are mostly horrible creeps and biddies. I mean there are a few cool teachers, and of course the ones that don't come into the story at all except to go "class dismissed", but I actually read a story that went something like "Mr. Smith was always ten minutes late to class because he took a dump right before it. It was so unfair and disgusting!"... I mean.. what the bloody hell, mate?

4. And of course the ex girlfriend (except in some cases where she is the bosom buddy) is a hateful b-word. And I don't mean butterfly. Like, why would such a stellar young man as our Jaxazon date such a girl?

5. Not to forget the planned betrothed. I mean are they never like the guy in The Princess Diaries 2 (the movies not the books)? I liked him. He was nice, even if he wasn't true to the books.

6. Ah, six. The devil's number. The number where I run out of steam before picking it back up again in seven.. Oh, so the nerds! When the protagonist makes fun of nerds or something talking about how the nerd is picking their nose and inspecting the results or whatever, it bothers me. Just because you're a nerd it doesn't make you a practiser of disgusting habits! I am a nerd. I am proud. And I do NOT pick my nose! Not when anybody's looking anyway. Huehuehuehue..

7. I've already gone on at length about old ladies but they still deserve their own point here.. I'm just too lazy to write it out again. Just assume I'm talking about Beatrice the B*tchy rather than Wanda the Weird.

8. The main guy's friend is a pervert. This isn't in EVERY book now but still quite a few. Sleazy pickup lines and whatnot. Just ew. Ewie ewie ewie.

9. We have reached our penultimate point. Who else warrants the stereotypical status of creep? Sometimes ex boyfriends can be, too. You know the type, a cross between ex girlfriends and party creeps. I want to meet a nice ex. Maybe they don't exist.

10. I think I'll just continue some of my other points to finish the ten. The waitress opens her legs more than the doors of an airport, I would NOT like to attend a school with teachers such as Mr. Smith, ex girlfriends are apparently Lucifer incarnate, not to mention planned wives. Sleazy guys... how are you friends with the perfection that is Jaxazon?

Wattpad's Stupidest StereotypesWhere stories live. Discover now