Wattpad's Stupidest Stereotypes

Miscellaneous

I won't lie, I had to use autocorrect to spell that word correctly. I think I blame Wattpad for my writing skills going down the drain.
I'm running out of things to poke fun at without crossing a line. To be honest, I think I've walked on it a couple of times. Maybe peeked a big toe over to the other side.
I don't want to offend people. Lots of the stories here are really good. But if I keep going with this I will.
There's gonna be one more chapter after this, an example of everything I've written.

1. As you can see, I've written a pretty long A/N. Well, long for me. That's a pretty convenient lead-up to my 1. I hate (some) authors notes. This hatred is two-pronged. (I love using that idiom/phrase/whatever.)

1 variation A: When the author's notes are consistenly longer than the chapters. That's not the meaning of an author's note. I want to read about some vampire falling forbiddenly in love with a werewolf, not about how the author's cat got sick on her pillow this morning and it was reeeeaaaallly cute but also reeeeaaalllllly annoying.
Like, why not just publish your diary? Then you can just do away with the 'A/N' sign and just write.

1 variation B: When there are author's notes peppered throughout the book explaining it. Like:
Ciara was invisible. She had actually done it! She scaled the walls (A/N: when you use your powers you become fitter, faster, and stronger physically.)
Please, just include it in the narration or get the old mentor to explain it or something!

2. Bad grammar. I'm a grammar nazi, I admit it with my hands in the air- or rather, one hand in the air and one as a fake moustache. Your/you're, it's/its'/its... It bothers me. It really does. This I suppose is more my fault than the fault of the person writing, but I can't handle it. I end up pulling my hair out.

3. The weather conforms itself to our main character's whims. Plans to go to the beach? Cue heatwave. In the house alone with the main guy? Cue thunderstorm and power outage so they can get closer.

4. There are a lot of metaphors. This is perfectly fine. But they're all the same! I'll give one example: orbs. The word orbs is used more than eyes. Somebody else pointed it out to me, but now that I've noticed it's used so much I can't get it out of my head.

5. There is always another woman vying for the attention of our man. Be it the head cheerleader or the "pack slut". The term pack slut is something I also despise. It's just so mean to label her! But anyway, I deviate. There's always another girl that "won't take no for an answer". It's just like.. how many people actually can't take rejection? I don't know one. Do any of ye?

6. Have you ever noticed that werewolf/vampire/anything mates are supposed to love each other unconditionally, yet almost all of the stories on this little site are about mates that don't get along for the first three quarters of the book? (That question was so long I almost forgot to put a question mark at the end of it)

7. The girl is always English or American, with very few exceptions. There is an Australian protagonist or two floating about, but 99.999 percent (goddammit can't find the percent button) of the time she's American. What about a Jamaican girl, or Icelandish? Hm? The men are always of the following countries as well:
American
English
French
Italian and
Greek

Once I was on holiday and I met this cute little guy who was German. He looked about 9 or 10 and was blond and tanned in that German way. He was funny too, in a cute kid way. He laughed really hard. I bet he's after growing up to break some hearts. Why can't HE be the 16 year old CEO billionaire in a few years?

8. I can only think of one romance book that was completely from the point of view of the man. One. People, people, people. People. Please. The book wasn't even a proper romance. It was like those adult books that my mam always reads (no, not smut, you dirty minded freaks). I just wish I had proper writing skillz so I could put you guys to shame.

9. When there's no conflict. Come on guys, you know it happens and that it's cringy when it does. When there's a group sitting at the cafeteria table (which, by the way, holds like a gazillion people) and they aren't having the banter, just talking. Or even worse when they're having the banter and it isn't funny at all. Or worst of all when they're just in complete agreement with each other. Here:

" "Oh my God I love this burger!" Jaxon yelled. We all looked at his weirdness. "What, it's a great burger!" Jaxon exclaimed. I laughed softly at his antics.
"So guys, should I use a fork or a spoon for my soup?" Keeley asked.
"I think a spoon might be a good idea." Exaviander said. We all nodded.
"Yeah, spoons are perfectly shaped for soup, and they don't have holes in them which is helpful." Alex chimed in. More nodding.
"I agree completely, Alex. You took the words right out of my mouth." I smiled.
"Aw man, I'm finished my burger!" Jaxon pouted. We all laughed.

I mean, who even has that sort of conversation?

10. When the bad boy is best friends with the quarterback. Like, in my school the guys that break the rules don't even talk to the sporty people. Somebody who smokes, drinks and skips school just isn't going to be friends with the person that only gets in trouble for talking in class.