The Delicate.

     There was a stiff moment when neither of us said anything, just looked at each other. I stared down at the floor, seeing my little pale toes. I wriggled them together, waiting for someone to break the silence.

     Finally, my mom drug in a deep breath. " How much will it cost? To get this medicine for Rose?" 

     " It is FDA approved, so it is almost guaranteed that your insurance will cover all medication refills and needs. " 

     " Side effects? " Mom asked. She was a pro at this by now. 

     " Vomiting, nausea, diarrhea, muscle soreness, and blurry eye sight for the first week or so when using this product. It will be her body adjusting to the intake. " Dr. Costa tucked her artificial blondhair behind her ear, tucking her pen there. 

      After that, my mom signed the papers and Dr. Costa wrote out the prescription. I sat there, on that table in my hospital gown, just watching them talk about my life like I wasn't there. Well, for all intensive purposes, I wasn't there. I was still useless to the world. 

     I was released from the hospital and finally able to change back in my normal, worn out clothes. Anything would beat that papery, cold gown that I had been wearing all week with the stupid pink flowers all over it. They gave me a mask at the front desk to wear home, just in case. Dr. Costa told me to wear if I went out anywhere before starting my new medication. 

     " Won't this be good for us? " My mom said, in the car on the drive home. " If this medicine works out. Might get to go to public school for the first time. " 

     " Maybe make some friends. " 

     I glanced over at her, seeing a faint shard of hope and a little bit of a smile in her eyes. She looked over at me when a red light came up, seeing me in my mask with tired, gaunt eyes and pale sallow skin.

     " Oh, Rose. " She reached over, smoothing my hair down comfortingly. " We'll get this sorted out soon." 

     The red light turned green and she was forced to focus on the road again. I sank down in the passenger seat of her old mini van. 

     She helped me from the car to the living room couch, where it seemed I had taken up permanent residence. It felt so much better than that lumpy hospital bed. The cushions were molded against my body by now. 

     " Do you need anything, baby? " My mom asked, covering me with the quilt my grandmother had made for her. I looked at her, closely. She had been with me all week at the hospital, spending her nights sleepless as I was laid out in bed. She needed rest more than I did. 

     " No, I'm okay. " I answered. " Go take a nap. " 

     She smiled at me, smoothing my hair down again, which had turned in to more of a bad habit of hers than it was mine, and turning away. I was alone with nothing but the television to ease my solitude. I was more than ready to start my medication tomorrow, just to see if it helped in theslightest. I was tired of getting sick so often from something as simple as leaving the window open or being in the same room as someone who had sneezed earlier. 

     I was sick and tired of being sick and tired and if this new drug offered me a chance to attend a public high school instead of being cooped up in here being homeschooled by my overworked mom, then I was all for it. 

     I settled under the blanket, thinking of a possible chance at being semi- normal. 

     Being born with an auto immune disease, I had spent very few of my days living out in the real world. I was barely ever well enough to venture out to public schools and even if I had been, I was in " delicate condition " and couldn't risk becoming ill again. I had never been anything but a bubble baby, so to speak. 

     My bedroom had always been sterilized, constantly clean, and scarce of any personality. But now even I was too far gone to sleep in my own bedroom because it was too far away from my mom's room. I didn't have any friends that weren't fictional in the books that I read, but I longed to have the kind of relationships like they did. Their adventures, their lives. 

     I had once made a friend, her name was Angela. We were five years old at the time we met at the grocery store my mom had risked taking me to. Our mothers had arranged playdates for a week straight so I could see her. Then one day she coughed on me, giving me her mild case of strep. It had almost killed me. I didn't see her after that. 

     So after years of being perpetually sick, I was nothing short or shocked when this new medicine began to work. Of course, the first week I had been miserable with all the throwing up and stomach pains and headaches. But the week after my first trial, I woke up feeling... not miserable. My muscles still ached when I moved, but that was it. I didn't get out of breath when I climbed off the couch, walked down the hall, and woke my mother to tell her the news. 

     I felt okay the car ride to the doctor, a little better as they poked, prodded, and drew blood from me the second day, and on the third day I had no aches at all. 

     " We have success." Dr. Costa said, reviewing my blood work on her crisp sheet of paper. She let the edge go and smiled at me. " Your tests show 64 percent increase of white blood cells and a definite improvement. "

     My mother sighed with relief, closing her eyes, and thanking God. I just thanked Dr. Costa for introducing me to this new medicine. 

     " I think you will be well enough to start public high school in the next week or two. Maybe wait another week to be sure. " Dr. Costa said to me and I smiled, for the first time while actually meaning it. 

     " We'll take it one step at a time. " My mom said, intervening. Making sure my hopes didn't get too high in case this trial failed to keep me healthy enough to live life outside of our little house. 

     After more of a counsultation than a doctor's appointment, Dr. Costa said, " welcome to the real world, Rose. "