Secrets Can Kill {Charlie Weasley}

ten - of hurt and pleadings

  hey, so I'm back with the last chapter before the epilogue and I hope you enjoy it :) this book went by quite quickly despite my tremendous pause in the middle of the whole thing 

picture on the side of talia and charlie :)

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 "Ch-Charlie, please," I cried into my hands as he didn't say anything, only stared at me with a shocked expression on his face. If he had blinked or made a sound or even breathed, I somehow missed it as he stood there with an unmoving expression of complete and utter shock. I was almost in shock myself. I hadn't thought that I would have it in me to admit that to him. 

"W-what do you want me to say? Do you want me to move on with it?" Charlie whispers, his eyes suddenly going watery and his voice sounding like there was something stuck in the back of his throat. He had his lip turned up, looking at me in complete disgust. "Because if you think I can, you are wrong. You don't even understand. HE'S MY BROTHER TALIA!"

I choke back a sob as I shake my head at him, trying to apologise but I only stutter over myself, not being able to find the correct words to say. I feel so awful but I really couldn't stop myself from saying it. It just slipped out. He deserved to know but the way he's acting is only proving the reason I didn't want to tell him in the first place. 

"I thought you were this amazing girl, you know. I always have. For the love of Godric, I almost asked you out in Hogwarts! Do you know how much abuse I would have gotten if I had of? You were so much younger than me. And so I left you. You were showing too much interest in that Howard guy anyways, too much interest to even like me. 

"And then, who do I meet when my job gets transferred to a new spot in Romania but my Hogwarts love. I was bloody delighted. I thought it was finally our chance to actually be something, my chance to actually be something to someone other than this dragon obsessed guy. 

"And you are perfect. And you are all the things that I always knew you were and you genuinely are just perfect and that's the worst part of it all because you are so bloody perfect!" He screams at me. I don't say anything. I try to hold my expression to a straight face but that's when he bursts into tears. He's lying on the ground, covering his face in some attempt to look more manly. But he fails. The loud noises of him sobbing tears could wake someone a mile away. 

"Charlie, Charlie, I am so sorry. He knew who I was. I didn't want to get caught. It was the most selfish thing I have ever done in my life. I have never regretted doing anything more in my life, I am so sorry," I sobbed. I couldn't hold back the tears any more. I was on the ground, next to him, crying like I had never cried before. 

"Why are you still here?" He roars at me, giving me an annoyed look. He's trying to stop crying in the middle of his sentence but a slight sob comes out, making me feel even worse. He can't even talk and it's all my fault. "I don't want you to be here! Go back to your family or something, you're not wanted here. You can go kill yourself for all I care."

That was when I went numb. I couldn't cry. I just couldn't. I've known this stage before but never has it came with his stab in my chest. I want to cry again. I want to cry and cry until Charlie feels bad for me. But I don't. I can't. 

This pain in my chest is much worse than some annoying ache in my throat or puffy eyes. This pain is so incredibly painful, I can't feel anything. It's at that stage of pain, where I'm unaware that I'm in pain because this is all I feel. 

I feel myself walking but my mind is not commanding my legs to. They're doing it of their own accord and I don't really want to stop them. Charlie obviously doesn't want me here so I better move before I end up getting awkwardly stuck here by Mrs Weasley. 

I wonder if Charlie will tell his family. I don't know if he will and I'm almost slightly worried over it. I know it's their brother/son but I just met everyone in this family and I really like them all so far and the last thing I want is for them to hate me like Charlie does. But I guess they deserve to know the truth about their son's death. 

I'm out in the garden, I realise, as I snap out of my thoughts. I think of where I should go and I know the first place I'm definitely not going. My parents' house. I am in no mood for screaming and crying. I've had enough of that already.  I think of returning to my own house but I know that Charlie will be returning there soon and the last thing I want is to see him again. 

Maybe it was time for me to move once again, maybe I needed another change. Maybe I had let myself get too attached to Charlie that I didn't even realise how badly everything could go if he found out what happened with Fred. And I guess now I'm seeing it all and I know now for a fact that if Charlie were to tell someone, I could end up in Azkaban. The Weasley's seemed pretty nice when I told them I used to be a death eater and that I am not any more but I'm not sure they'll be so nice about the whole thing if they knew I was a death eater and that I killed their son. 

I begin to walk, with no clue of where I am going. I keep my hood up so that I don't see anyone. I know this area well yet I don't look as I walk. I just continue to move forward. 

That's when I stop. 

I think of Fred. Fred just lying there, his eyes lifeless. A big gash on his head from the impact of the wall. I had been bleeding too but Fred seemed to have gotten the worse blow from the wall. I was thankful at the time till I seen him looking at me. The fear in his eyes did not seem to change. He stayed exactly the same, not moving an inch. 

I turn back. I start walking towards their house but I do not enter the house itself. I turn to the large garden. In the garden, lies the big grey stone. 

'Fred Weasley' is written in big letters, the main thing on the actual stone. I sit down next to it, tracing my fingers over the detailing of the wording. 

"That thing cost  a bloody fortune, be careful with it," a voice mutters from right behind me, scaring the life out of me. I lift my head up to look at Charlie, who slowly sits down on the grass next to me. "I'm sorry about earlier, I honestly shouldn't have said that. It was so horrible of me to even think something like that, I was just so overcome by anger and I wasn't thinking straight at all."

"You were right though. I should feel bad, I should feel so bad I want to die. And sometimes I do want to die. What I did was so horrible, I don't expect you to forgive me," I told him, picking at the grass with my fingers as I looked away. 

"No. I was talking to George about it, since he was Fred's twin and I thought he deserved to know, and he pointed something out to me. Something that goes against your story," Charlie said. I almost laughed. He was trying to prove I didn't kill Fred? I'm pretty sure me saying I killed him was kind of ruining his point. 

"Charlie, I killed him-"

"After the war, all deaths were looked into to make sure anyone who killed someone was arrested. If someone died from something natural like falling off something that had broken off during the wall, they knew their wasn't a murderer for this person. Each death eater was given veritaserum and they would say everyone they killed. They made sure each death caused by murder had a murderer responsible. But when they checked Fred, he didn't die because of a spell."

"What-what do you mean he didn't die of a spell? I killed him Charlie, I watched it happen myself, I did it, I know I did," I say quickly. 

"No, Talia, you didn't. Fred died due to a wall hitting him on the head and blood loss."