Behind Closed Doors

Day One: Where Am I?

     I jolted awake from my subconscious hell by a small timid shake. “Now, Mia, I don’t think you want to sleep all the way through this ride, now do you?” I looked over to the unfamiliar voice to discover that it was Sally. “There’s just so much great scenery you are missing!” I ran my hand through my hair quietly reassuring myself that it had only been a dream.

       “Oh really” I said groggily, rubbing sleep from my eyes, sarcasm the undertone of my every word. A yawn escaped me as I sat up in the upholstered seat.  

        “Well sleepyhead we are almost there, just a few more miles. You are truly going to love it there and your father is just going to love having you there; he really did need the company.” She glanced over at me when she mentioned Doug. Her look reminded me of that of my mother when she was trying to see through my façade of delightedness, and just like my mother she looked away when she did not see a flaw in my much practiced mask. I turned my head away from her to look out the makeshift window once more, everything was cast in dark shadows from the oncoming night that approached as each second pasted.

            Minutes passed with no sound from the chipper Aunt I was coming to dislike more than the fake happy act I had to put on every day. It just didn’t make sense to me how could one person always be so happy, it just wasn’t normal. I let out a sigh, sitting in pure silence was not how I liked to spend car rides. Even though I disliked Sally and her peppiness I disliked silence more so I asked, “So um, what does Do− Dad do?”  It was only out of hating silence and not at all of me wanting to know something about Doug, it even hurt to claim him as my dad.

            “Well for the past couple months he has been helping down at the high school, you see my husband, Jared who is the principle, was in the hospital for a while so your dad offered to help while he was out. He actually owns this cute little diner right off Main Street.” Sally’s voice was soft and caring as she spoke of her husband, my new Uncle, then it got a proud tone when she told me of my father’s all too cliché diner. 

           “Oh that’s nice?” my voice turned up at the end making it come out as a question instead of a statement; hopefully she didn’t catch it.

            “Yes very. The place is so cute and everyone comes and goes. Such a nice place…” She went back into real-estate selling mode again, naturally I tuned her out letting her go on and on about Doug’s quaint little place; nodding my head here and there to let her know that I was “listening.” As long as the silence was being filled I didn’t care. During her babbling I stole a quick glance at the clock: 7:30. I wonder how much longer I have to be stuck in this car. I was starting to get impatient and my bladder couldn’t take much more.  “Oh look at the time! Hmm that’s strange your father should have called my cell around seven.” Sally then pulled her old fashioned cell phone out of her purse glancing back at the road every so often. “Oh silly me, he did, I must have been talking and didn’t hear it; Ha-ha, silly me.” She began to dial putting the phone to her ear as it began to ring. Sally smiled at me with this apologetic smile as if I cared about Doug, and then looked back at the rode. I was pretty sure it was against the law to talk on the phone and still be driving, but it wasn’t like I was going to remind Sally I think it would be funnier if she found out for herself. I turned to the window, even though there wasn’t much to see it was better than listening to a one ended conversation of my Aunt and Doug talking about me and my new home. Another yawn escaped me as I slipped the headphones of my iPod into my ears blasting the music loud. The last coherent thought I had before I slipped into an unconscious slumber was: why couldn’t I had died along with my mother. 

            A deep gray sky cracked with bursting light and crashing symbols of sound. I felt wind lash against my body as the hazy view cleared. In front of me stood a vision of an angel in white long robes surrounded by a bright light. All around me the weather shook the very earth I stood on. There was something strange about this angel it gave me a weird feeling. The sky burst out with another flash of light followed by a deafening crashing sound. I kept waiting for the rain to come and soak me to the bone, but nothing, just harsh wind, light, and noise, so much noise. The angel had its back to me going about its own business, acting like I was not even there. I tried to speak, but no sound came out, frustrated I tried to move forward, but once again nothing happened it was like my body was not under my control. A chiming laugh broke out filling the air and making my heart swell for no reason. I squinted in the direction of the angel all I could see was the blinding light surrounding it and long blonde hair, shimmering gold in the flashes of light. “Oh Mia how you misunderstand everything,” a voice, that I didn’t recognize, spoke followed by another laugh. “What you are waiting for, that one thing that will save you from yourself, ha, is not what you expect.” Another cruel laugh sprang from the angel’s throat that made the sky crack.