crushing her

iiii

She knew what he had done to her.
She knew what she had let him do to her.
He would leave.
He would come back.
He was a circle of pain and pleasure.
She couldn't let go.
He was her moon.
He was a net that she let herself fall into.
It ripped everytime.
She was trapped.
He had trapped her.
And slowly but surely she began destroying herself.
Oh had he crushed her.
But oh did she love it.
But she knew where he was when he wasn't racing.
She knew who he touched when he he wasn't touching her.
How he came back and how he would leave.
How he owned her soul, her being.
He owned her yesterday.
He would destroy her tomorrow.
The pain that he inflicted in her.
The only plaster she could think of.
The plaster that would stop those thoughts about him.
Oh how she loved that powder.
Oh how she loved the moon.
And somewhere else he didn't know that lonely girl had a new friend.
Oh how clueless he was.

She knew it.
She knew what she did to herself.
She just wanted someone to care.
Someone who understood.
Her being alone at home.
The home that left her in tears.
Oh how it hurt being there.
Yet it was the only place she felt secured.
Fuck him.
Why did she need him?
She had her white powder and her moon.
What did she need him for?
                You need him to breath,
                           to survive