To The End

23 What. The. Fuck.

        "Good morning, Princess" someone whispers in my ear. It sure as hell isn't Mikey. I jump up and look around. No one. Not again.

        I fumble on the coffee table looking for my phone. This can't be starting again. I punch in the number. After all several tones, someone picks up. "Dr. John Smith's office, how may I help you?" It's the damn secretary. "Is the doctor free at the moment?" "Yes ma'am" that's good. "May I please speak to him?" "Why?" "It's an emergency! Just please..." She pauses for a moment. "Okay ma'am, I'm forwarding this call to Dr. Smith"

        "Hello?" I sigh in relief that he'd answered "Doctor!" .. "Dakota..?" I nod, not that he can see me. "Yes, it's me" "What's wrong? I thought you were getting ready to leave" "I'm supposed to be... But I really must talk to you""Why?"

        "Why talk to him when you can talk to me?" That voice makes my blood run cold. "Dakota? Dakota are you still there?" "Yes Doctor, I'm still here. It's an emergency. Can I just see you in person?" "Yeah, sure. I've got an opening until 2."

        Thank The Lord. "I'll be over as soon as possible" I hang up. I start to get my stuff together, not bothering to change out of my clothes from yesterday. "Where are you going in such a hurry?" I turn around, but it's only Mikey. He's in the kitchen... In his boxers, pouring a cup of coffee.

        "I've got to go see Dr. Smith" he takes a sip of his coffee. "Who?" I haven't told him yet? Now that I think about it, Bob is the only one who knows. "I'll tell you when I get back. I've got to run." I rush to the door, Izzy pawing at my feet. "Mikey, could you feed Iz for me?" He nods.

        I close the door and click the elevator button. While I was waiting for the slow ass thing to get there, Frank walks up next to me.

        The elevator opens and we step in. "Hi, Dakota" I ignore him. "I'm really sorry... I didn't know what I was doing and I didn't even mean to.. I'm so sorry" I look over at him, his right eye is black and swollen. I can't help but giggle. "It's um... Okay. It was unexpected and I was already upset, so I took it much more seriously then I should have"

        The door opens and I step out. I walk through the front door of the building and look around. I punch in the number of a taxi company, and tell them where I am.

        Frank runs after me. "Jeez, why are you in such a hurry?" I check my phone, its 1:20. Fuck. shove my phone in my purse. "I need to be somewhere" he nods. "Where?" I guess there's no point in lying to him.

        "Therapist" he pauses "Me too." I look over at him. "Oh... Do you want to.. Ride with me?" He nods.

The taxi pulls up. I get in. He sits next to me. "36, Newark Avenue" the driver nods, then starts driving. I look over at Frank. "If you don't mind me asking... Why are you in therapy?" He sighs. "I have these nightmares... They aren't like normal. They feel so real, and they wake me up at night, I can never sleep."

        My eyes widen. "Frank..." He looks over at me. I pause for a moment. "I have nightmares like that too" he raises his eyebrow. "Really?" I nod.

        We stop. I pay the driver, Frank gets out first and I follow. "When is your appointment?" He opens the door for me. "It's at two" ha. The woman at the front desk looks up. "Hi Frankie. Hello Mrs. Way"

Mrs. Way. Frankie? I look over at Frank, confused. "Oh, Dakota. This is my mother." What a small world. She smiles "I'm Linda." "Nice to meet you." I pause. "Is Dr. Smith here?" She nods. "You can head back there"

        Dr. Smith's door is open. I walk in. "Hi, Dakota. Your call sounded urgent. What's wrong?" I sit down in my usual spot. The leather lazy boy by the window. "He's back" He sips his coffee. "Who?" I sigh, "who do you think?" He nods.

        "When did you start seeing him again?" I shake my head. "I've been hearing him. He's whispering things in my ear. It started... A couple days after I got back from the hospital, I think."

        "Have you been taking your medication?" I shake my head. "I don't have any left.. after...." i sigh. "I haven't had any time to get more" he chuckles. "That's why, Dakota. On your way back, why don't you pick up some more. I'll call in." That's it? Because I wasn't taking my medication? "Oh. Okay."

——

        On my way out I say by to frank and his mom. I stop by the pharmacy and pick up the meds.

I walk in to my apartment, which, surprisingly, is spotless. Did Mikey... Clean? I throw my purse on the couch, then walk to my bedroom. Mikey is in there, straightening his hair. "Hey, Kota."

        I open the closet door and grab some clothes. "Hey Mikey. I'm gonna jump in the shower" he nods "k".

I lock the door behind me. I open the bag they'd given me at the pharmacy and grab the bottle of pills. Haloperidol, this isn't the one that I normally use. Frankly, I don't care.

        I open it and pour two in my hand. "Don't do it" oh no. "Why not?" I whisper, so Mikey won't hear. "It's poison. It'll make you forget everything that's happened to you" I chuckle. "Why is that a bad thing?"

        I hand rests on my shoulder, sending goosebumps down my spine. I freeze. "You'll forget about me." "So?" I choke out. "Don't you remember last time?"

        I drop the bottle of pills, they spill on the floor. The hand on my shoulder disappears, and I collapse on the floor with a thud.

        There's a knock on the door. "Dakota? Are you okay?" It's so cold... So cold. I shiver, hugging myself to stay warm. It's absolutely freezing in here. It feels like I'm buried in snow.

        "Dakota!" He's banging on the door, trying to break it down. Why is it always the darkness? It always engulfs me. Leaving me alone. God damn it, why can't I just live a normal life? I used to like the darkness. I always hid in the shadows, it protected me.

But now, they always take me against my will, they take me, then leave me alone.