Dangerous Diaries

Chapter 18 - Cut Me Deep

I quickly ran into the bathroom before I could even allow my eyes to set a glance on him.  I locked myself inside and yelled for him to let me be.

"Lissy," he said from the other side of the door.  "I'm sorry...what did you hear?"

"Does it matter?"

 "No.  Because I was going to tell you everything once I knew you were back."

For a split second I almost opened the door.  But I fought against it.  "Michael, just please leave me alone.  We can talk later.  I'm not ready."

"Please?"

"It's late."

I could hear him walking away but I couldn't detect how far out his footsteps traveled.  So I stayed in the bathroom, thought of jumping out of the window and going to the guest house, but I ended up falling asleep on the cold, tiled floor.

The bright sun rays woke me up hours later.  My eyes shut as the light brought a painful sting to them.  I stood up slowly and unlocked the door.

The first thing I saw when stepping back into the room was Michael sound asleep on my bed.  Naturally, I smiled at the sight.  I made my way over and lied beside him.

The stroke of my hand gliding across his cheek woke him.

"Hi," he said smiling.

No longer angry, I smiled back.  "Hi."

He cleared his throat as he sat up.

I sat up with him.  "I'm sorry.  I had a moment last night.  It should've been handled better."

"No.  Don't apologize.  I'm sorry you had to find out like that."

"I had no business spying on you."

He chuckled.  "No.  But it's my fault for not giving you your own phone line.  I promise you, it'll be taken care of today."

I smiled at the gesture but then shook my head.  "No, Michael.  There's no need for it anymore."  I dreamt about this conversation but I still didn't really know how to say it.  "I think it's time we stop this."

The look on his face was...shock?  I guess it was the last thing he was expecting.

"The fact that you ran off and married her means a lot.  One, it was reckless.  The fact that we don't have an actual marriage certificate out there has always been a fear of ours.  But no one questions us.  But what if someone finds that one with you and Shakira's name on it?  Then what?"

"Lissy, I promise you, it's all under wraps.  We'll be fine.  We made a commitment to each other and I'm will-"

"No," I said.  "No.  We don't have to do this anymore.  You ran off and married her.  It's obvious how much you love each other.  I will not stand in the way of that with this charade of ours. It was different then.  Now that she's involved, I can't keep a poker face anymore.  She's your wife."

"I want to finish everything.  She doesn't mind."

"There's no way she can't mind, Michael."  It wasn't his fault, but Michael was once again not really in touch with the real world and how it operates. And how people and emotions work. I'd been there, plenty of times.  It was the way we were brought up under the spotlight, with someone waiting on us hand and foot every second of the day.  But as a woman, I knew no one would want to put up with this.  "Like I said, 1995 is a long time.  That's over 2 years from now.  No woman wants to hide her marriage for that long. And on top of that, no woman wants to see the world, see her husband, with another woman."