Conceited and Cruel

T W E N T Y - E I G H T

"Guys, guys!" Stacy calls, shuffling over to our lunch table. "Guess whose eyes Tara got caught by!" She slinks into her seat, the one by me. Darren shoots his head toward me, raising a single eyebrow.

Oops. I forgot about him.

"Who?" Raleigh asks, stuffing her sandwich into her mouth, only to pull the lettuce out. Trace makes a face only to exchange it for an adoring smile and a chuckle.

"Elijah!" Stacy squeals, and Trace looks over to me, slamming his fist onto the table.

"What?"

Raleigh chokes on her sandwich, grabbing her throat. Once she finally swallows, she shakes her head and asks the exact question Trace did.

Corey actually puts his phone down, quirks an eyebrow. "Dang, chickadee."

While Darren stares at me, working his jaw, his expression illegible. I gulp as he starts to bite his lip. Is he mad? Jealous? He kinda looks confused. Oh, he's upset with me! I look to Stacy, begging her to stop there, but she only dismisses my gaze to elaborate on this morning.

"They walked in holding hands! He told Sierra to go sit somewhere else so that he could sit by Tara!" She punches my elbow and jerks me around. "Isn't that sweet?"

Corey peers at me over his cup of water. "You got Elijah Strojvaski?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" I ask, getting defensive. Darren instinctively grabs my waist, and he pulls me a smidgen closer to him. A sign so small that it's only visible to me and him. Calm down, it says.

"What he means is that Elijah Strojvaski doesn't like going out with girls all that much." Raleigh explains, swirling her fork around in midair. "He hates it to tell you the truth. Ever since he was caught up with Marilyn Roth, he's been very wary of girls. That's why he hangs out basically with only the dudes."

"Like me." Trace makes sure to say. His gaze hard, accusatory. I involuntarily back away from him. Trace and I are real good friends, Elijah had said. I wonder if Trace is upset with me for catching Elijah's eye.

     "Like Trace." Stacy affirms, going on to sigh and stretch her arms high above her head. "I wonder where he is right now. Probably with his guy friends."

     Raleigh and Corey turn their heads at the same time in the same direction, only to turn back and say, "Yep," in perfect synchronization. 

     Stacy smiles brightly. "Y'all, that was so cool! It was like -- planned!" She leans on her hands, raises her eyebrows.

     Causing Darren to chuckle at her. "You're cute," he says, and I clutch tightly to my bottle of water. So tight that it crinkles.

     And Stacy giggling, murmuring a thanks only makes it worse. I bite down on my tongue hard. So hard I think I taste that horrible metallic taste of blood. So I lift my teeth and roll my shoulders back, taking a swig of my water to wash down the blood. I hate blood, I think in disgust.

     An image of Austin Crowe bursts into my head, and I immediately push back from the lunch table. Gulping, I make out a very weak, "I'm using the bathroom," before rushing away from the table to enter the empty bathroom in a mess.

I glance at myself in the mirror, and all I can see is a girl who was thrown on the floor by a wrestler she had a crush on. A girl who held a grudge against the nicest girl in school. A girl who lost her chance at a relationship with Darren Williams due to greed. Marilyn Roth was right. I am weak.