Behind the Cracks (Larry Stylinson AU)

Prologue

I stared back at the person staring back at me. How? How could this have happened to me? How did it come to this? After everything I did. How? 

CRACK!

An animal-like scream rang through the small bathroom. I gripped the sides of the counter tightly and closed my eyes. I could feel the blood racing past the shards of glass and off of my fingertips into the sink. 

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

Tears mixed with the blood. Faster and faster they fell until there was a constant stream falling from my eyes. I looked back up at the mirror, the cracks interrupting the slope of my face. Finally. Finally, I can see the cracks that hide underneath the surface. No longer hiding behind the mask that is my face. No long can skin or hair or makeup can hide it. No longer can my bloodshot eyes can be hidden by sunglasses.

Why?

Because I'm looking with my own bloodshot eyes. Because I'm looking with my own cracked face. Because I'm looking at this shell, with my own shell of what I use to be. Because I'm looking at myself. 

I grabbed my hair and raced my hands through it as I violently pulled at it; ignoring the pain from my wounded hand. Why wouldn't I? I had always ignored all the other pain. Why would I start now? It was only a drop in the bucket anyways. 

Another painful cry. 

Another painful tear.

Another painful day.

Another pain filled life.

Taking a deep breath, I looked up at the ceiling. Then with a whimper I started:

Cups of the Rosy

Girls in my old phone

I should call one, and go home

I've been in this club too long

The woman that I would try

Is happy with a good guy

My perfect voice was ruined by my muffled voice. My perfect face was ruined by my tears. My perfect eyes were ruined by the red. My perfect life was ruined by me. 

But I've been drinking so much

That I’ma call her anyway and say 

“F-ck that new guy that you love so bad 

I know you still think about the times we had” 

I say “f-ck that new guy that you think you found  

And since you picked up I know he’s not around oh now”

I’m just sayin’, you could do better 

Tell me have you heard that lately? 

I’m just sayin’ you could do better

And I’ll start hatin’, only if you make me

If only, if only they could see me now. If only they realized what was really happening. Then maybe the fans wouldn't love me anymore. Maybe they would be disgusted, appalled. Like they should be. 

Uh, cups of the XO 

All my people been here 

I see all of her friends here 

Guess she don’t have the time to kick it no more 

Flights in the morning 

What you doing thats so important? 

I’ve been drinking so much

That I’ma call you anyway and say 

“F-ck that new guy that you love so bad 

I know you still think about the times we had” 

I say “f-ck that new guy that you think you found 

And since you picked up I know he’s not around” 

I’m just sayin’, you could do better 

Tell me have you heard that lately 

I’m just sayin’ you could do better 

And I’ll start hatin’, only if you make me

Maybe they would hate me, like they should.

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Oh wow! That was fun to write! Anywho, how are you guys? I haven't talked to you guys in a long time! I know. I'm sorry, I've been really busy with school, ya know with it ending and stuff. However, I've finally gotten to start this NEW story! HOW EXCITING! I've been thinking about this idea for a VERY long time so hopefully it goes all good! Haha. And HOPEFULLY I'll be able to update more and easiler because I've finally bought a new computer! It's much better then my old one! OK, so like most people know about: IT'S QUESTION TIME! For the people who don't know, I ask questions about the chapter or the entire story and then who ever answers it correctly first, gets the dedication for the next chapter. Or sometimes I just choose the BEST comment! So the question is: Who POV is this chapter, and why do you think they are sad? Comment below to answer and, of course, tell me what you think! Oh, I'd also like to say hi to all the new fans! it's nice to meet you all and I'm glad you've come aboard to this sad train XD I'D LIKE TO THANK EVERYONE FOR GETTING ME TO 400+ FANS! YOU'RE ALL AMAZING!

~Abby <3