An Average Girl

Predictable Outcomes

“You’ll have to do better than that if you want to get us,” Matt taunted from beside me. Expecting them to give up we didn’t move.

That is until “CHARGE!” was shouted from Lucy’s lungs. The next thing I knew Greg, Honey, Iris, Christine, and Lucy were all running full force towards us, water guns firing.

Matt quickly grabbed my hand and tugged me along with him as we tried to make our escape. This was my first time at Christine’s and I had no idea where we were going so I just followed Matt. The hallways looked very similar to the motif of the rest of the house, with professional photos of the family lining the walls, marking their growth over the years. Normally, I would have liked to stop and admire the photos of a little Christine, but Matt wasn’t playing around. We had run in and out of rooms, up and down stairs, and I had no clue where the hell we were in this giant house.

Our running slowed down as we entered a small room at the end of a hallway. I could faintly hear Greg and Iris on the other side of the house, coming up with a plan of attack. Lucy was calling out taunts to the rest of the house, as if they could scare us out of hiding. As if.

It appeared as if we were in a guest bedroom, with the theme being tropical. There were baby blue walls the enclosed the area, with a soft off-white carpet that reminded me of white sand. The little decorations on the dresser had a sea-shell theme. It was subtle but still noticeable, preventing it from being tacky like hotels.

Matt didn’t stop until he opened the closet that was slightly hidden when I first walked in due to the chest of drawers next to it. “I hope you’re not afraid of small spaces,” was all Matt said before he shoved the both of us inside and shut the door.

There were no lights inside, and I slid down the wall my back was pressed up against it until I was sitting on the floor. Matt joined me, our shoulders side by side as we waited for our inevitable fate.

“How long do you think till they’ll find us?” I asked in the silence that fallen between us. It wasn’t that I was uncomfortable with silence; usually I enjoyed it because it bred time for reflection on events that have transpired.

“It depends on how lucky we are. There are a lot of rooms, and it could take them awhile before they get to this one,” Matt whispered back to me, “or minutes,” he added as an afterthought. I could hear the two of us breathing, and focusing on the sound made me slow mine down for a second so that we were breathing in time with one another. It was something I used to do as a child, when it was late and my mother would let me rest my head on her stomach as we watched TV in our living room. For some reason, whether I tried to or not our breathing would always end up in synch. Like our bodies recognized that we were part of one another.

Minutes passed and neither one of us uttered a word in fear that it would lead to our capture, as we patiently awaited our demise. That was being a tad dramatic, but if you cannot find excitement in your daily life, it will be mundane no matter what you do or where you are or who you’re with. Life is all about interpretation, no two people will ever see the same thing in any given situation.

“Hey Sara,” Matt let out in an exhale of breath that was barely auditable even though I was seated right next to him.

“Hmm,” I mumbled back showing that I heard him.

“I know that you’ve only been at Rosewood for a week but, I was just wondering,” he was talking faster now than he usually did and his voice sounded a little nervous. I knew what he was about to say, and I prayed to anyone that would listen that I was wrong. I didn’t want to lose the friends I had just recently made. “Do you want to go out with me? On a date?” he asked. The question hanged in the air for a moment before I got the courage to answer him.

“No,” escaped from my lips. A definitive response was the best way to go, I didn’t want to give any false hope that my answer could or would change. “I’m sorry Matthew, I really am”. Even though I couldn’t see him in the darkness, I refused to look in his direction, I was afraid that I might catch a glimpse of the outline of his face, a flicker of disappointment that would make me feel even worse. Matthew is a great a guy, an amazing friend but I’m simply not looking for a relationship. It’s not in the cards for me right now.

“Do you mind, if I ask why?” Matt’s voice was soft, there was no hint of malice at my blatant rejection of him allowing relief to wash over me. I wanted to the say the right thing, the right words that would deliver an equal amount of comfort and explanation without a false pretense of a possibility that the two of us could work in the future. The truth is though, is that there is nothing anyone can say in these types of situations that could spare the other person’s feelings.

“It has nothing to do with you Matt. It’s just that I don’t date. I’m not looking for a relationship and to be frank with you I don’t really want one,” my hand reached for his blindly in the darkness as a small gesture of sympathy and comfort. My fingers touched his, and I laced our hands together locking them in an embrace.

“It’s fine. We’re probably better off as friends anyways,” he joked back trying to lighten the situation but I could still hear the undertones of embarrassment in his voice. He brought our entwined hands close to his face and gently kissed the back of my hand before letting them fall back to the floor. I smiled at Matt, searching for his face in the black nothingness that separated us.

I wasn’t sure where this left us. I didn’t want anything to change, but that is not up to me anymore. Matt has to decide where he wants to go from here. High school relationships rarely last anyways, we’d both be going off to college next year. Education could put miles of separation between us, and one year is not enough to last against four years of partying and drunken sex.

A different kind of silence settled over us, one that sucked out all the happiness and carefree nature that once surrounded us. It was as if when I uttered that single syllable, no, I destroyed something, and it left us both awkward and confused.

Both of us remained sitting at the bottom of the closet, lost in our own thoughts, when the door was yanked open and water was squirted at us. It was such a shock that the icy cold water rendered me speechless. Neither of us screamed and we just sat there as they drenched us with water.

“You guys are no fun,” Iris pouted, finally relenting at the water she was spraying at our bodies.

“No screaming? No more running? You sure can take all the fun out of revenge,” Lucy added. I threw a grin onto my face, still feeling slightly sullen from the intimate conversation between Matt and me. A phone rang in the distance, and Matt hastily jumped up and ran to it. Getting out of the closet, I couldn’t help but glance at the tiny space that confined us and a pang of regret hit me for a second before I threw it out of my mind.

Of all the ways, this could have ended, I had to choose this.

“GUYS I HAVE TO LEAVE! MY MOM NEEDS ME TO BABYSIT!” Matt hollered from downstairs.

“COMING,” Christine shouted back.

Making our way to the basement, we all said good-bye to Matt. Greg and he did that weird man-hug thing, and Christine and Iris hugged him while Honey and Lucy merely waved from the floor where they had settled down.

Matt looked at me, and I knew all I had to say was good-bye. “Let me walk you out,” I said instead. We walked quietly together till we reached the front door, and the two of us were alone once again. He stared at me for a minute, neither one of us saying anything. Eventually he sighed out loud and turned the door handle to make his leave.

“I really am sorry Matt,” I whispered as he stepped across the threshold. He gave me a half-hearted smile in return to ease the lingering awkwardness.

 “I’ll see you Monday!” he called over his shoulder.