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9/17/15

Dear crush,

I can't say what you've been doing doesn't hurt. First, ignoring all of my snaps, then ignoring me altogether. At practice today, you guys were on the field behind us, but you were ignoring me to an extent that seemed almost purposeful. I was literally right next to you on the other side of the gate, watching practice and you wouldn't so much as look in my direction, much less cheer. And so I hang my head in shame, once again, at ever thinking that you liked me. But still, your stupid words "If it's you, I care" bound through my head mercilessly. I can't help but hold on, and at the same time, I'm letting go. I've decided if the senior asks me to homecoming, I'm gonna go with him. There's no point in waiting for you. You're ghosting me. Wait a second. Holy shit, you're snapping me. I'll be right back.

You told me I looked amazing today. Funny, I didn't even think you looked at me today. Which is what I said. And then, you asked for a picture of my outfit. I didn't know what to do. So I thought: How about do that whole nonchalant I can't thing. Yeah, that sounds right. So I told you "idk I'm busy." And you responded with, "ok sorry I won't bother you anymore."

And so, I lost the chance at conversation with you because I was thinking about how my friend told me not to be so eager and give you everything. It's not who I am to not be eager. I'm really good at being flirty, but when you ask for a pic of my outfit, I want to give it to you. Is that desperate? Sad? I don't even know...

-Yours Truly

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